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The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What advantages and disadvantages can come of this trend?

Nowadays, the trend, working remotely has increased in many countries. Saving time and money are the advantages and unproper working environment is the main disadvantage of this issue. First of all, time and money are the most precious elements of human’s life in this world. Everybody wants to save time as well as money for their future. Working from home give these opportunities to the individual. Such as, when a person leave home for the office, it takes almost one hour to reach his working place and also cost 5 dollar each day. In one month, a person has to spend 60 hours and 300 dollar only for going to the office and return home from the office. By working remotely people can save this amount of time and money and use them for their family. For example, a recent study found that in 2020, people who worked from home pass more time with their family as well as save some extra money during this period. Secondly, working from home reduce the quality of work. This is due to the working environment. Home office does not provide the same environment that people can get when they work from the office. People can not concentrate on their work due to the presence of family members as well as scarcity of the room in their house. This hamper the working environment and the outcome is substandard work. For example, the HR Department of a prominent company published that about 80% of total employee provide substandard work when they start working from home but they were good enough when they worked from the office. In conclusion, the number of remotely working people has increased because it save time as well as money, which are the merits and reduce quality of work is the demerits.
Nowadays, the trend,
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working
remotely
has increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Saving
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time
and
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money
are the advantages and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproper
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is the main disadvantage of this issue.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are the most precious elements of human’s life in this world. Everybody wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
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well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
from home give these opportunities to the individual. Such as, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
, it takes almost one hour to reach his
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working
place and
also
cost 5 dollar each day. In one month, a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend 60 hours and 300 dollar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
and return home from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
. By
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working
remotely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
this amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
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money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for their family.
For example
, a recent study found that in 2020,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who worked from home pass more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
The word “save” is a verb. Did you mean the adjective “safe”?
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
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money
during this period.

Secondly
,
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working
from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Home
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office
does not provide the same
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environment
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from the
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office
.
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People
can not concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to the presence of family members as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as scarcity of the room in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This hamper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the outcome is substandard
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work
.
For example
, the HR Department of a prominent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
published that about 80% of total employee provide substandard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
when they worked from the office.

In conclusion
, the number of
remotely
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
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well
as
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money
, which are the merits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the demerits.
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IELTS essay The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What advantages and disadvantages can come of this trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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