Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
The concept of the relocation of the conjugal family has become ubiquitous in the contemporary world because of its minute volume. Despite the fundamental drawback of losing old friends' circle, I believe that it provides children with several benefits such as improved communication skills and better opportunities. The major pitfall of the movement of an elementary family from the native land is that the youngsters will have to compromise on losing their old comrades. Because of this loss, a child might feel solitude and tranquility. This, consequently, will lead to mood disturbances and behaviour changes. Recent research by behavioural experts suggests that nuclear family units can isolate children from close relatives and relationships. Thus, the movement of a small family to another location might disturb the social aspects of their children. Nevertheless, I think that one of the major upsides of the resettlement in a different city or country is the growth in the ability of their children to communicate. The reason for this is that this will allow them to learn new methods to communicate their surroundings such as to liaise, collaborate and cooperate with people from diverse social and cultural backgrounds. Furthermore, this improves their cognitive and socializing skills. For Example, skilled people usually emigrate to developed countries, like Australia and Canada with their offspring, resulting in a better socializing environment for them. Additionally, resettlement to another country will open a window of opportunities for children. They will have access to a better educational system in developed countries which will help them in their future lives, thereby heightening their knowledge and professional skills. To illustrate, if a child relocates to a new place with his family, it is highly likely that this will yield better learning outcomes as compared to the previous residential area. Moreover, this move will broaden the horizon of future employment for such children. In conclusion, It is true that although the relocation of small families to better places results in children to lose their old fellows, I strongly feel that its benefits far outweigh the drawbacks in terms of improving their communication skills and schooling opportunities.
The concept of the relocation of the conjugal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has become ubiquitous in the contemporary world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its minute volume. Despite the fundamental drawback of losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends' circle, I believe that it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with several benefits such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities.

The major pitfall of the movement of an elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from the native land is that the youngsters will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise on losing their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
comrades.
Because of this
loss, a child might feel solitude and tranquility. This,
consequently
, will lead to mood disturbances and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. Recent research by
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
experts suggests that nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units can isolate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from close relatives and relationships.
Thus
, the movement of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to another location might disturb the social aspects of their children.

Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one of the major upsides of the resettlement in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is the growth in the ability of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to communicate.
The reason for this is
that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to learn new methods to communicate their surroundings such as to liaise, collaborate and cooperate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from diverse social and cultural backgrounds.
Furthermore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their cognitive and socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For Example
, skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
emigrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, like Australia and Canada with their offspring, resulting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
socializing environment for them.

Additionally
, resettlement to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will open a window of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They will have access to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
educational system in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, thereby heightening their knowledge and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. To illustrate, if a child relocates to a new place with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it is
highly
likely that this will yield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
learning outcomes as compared to the previous residential area.
Moreover
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
will broaden the horizon of future employment for such children.

In conclusion
, It is true that although the relocation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
places results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to lose their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fellows, I
strongly
feel that its benefits far outweigh the drawbacks in terms of improving their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and schooling opportunities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts