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the media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. they should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

the media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. they should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. OOL7
Newspapers, radio, television, and other forms of media frequently focus too much on celebrities’ personal lives (actors, singers, or footballer). I personally disagree with this statement because the media actsrepresents as a medium for connecting people, particularly celebrities. Some people argue that the media intrudes on celebrities’ privacy, but in reality, theythe simply provide us with information since people are curious about their daily lives or relationships. G-dragon, for example, is one of South Korea’s most well-known singers. Many people seek out G-dragon to learn about their daily life and the media will look into their relationships with or scandals he had and report back to the public via newspaper, radio, or television. Furthermore, many well-known people seek media attention in order to gain some fame. Lucinta Luna, for example, is one of the controversial people in Indonesia who does this. People start gossiping and letting others know who Lucinta Luna is because she often posts such as silly videos on Instagram to make people triggered or angry when they see them. As a result, the media will makemaking some news about her silly video and make Lucinta Luna well-known. Though the media helps to connect ordinary people with celebrities, it is undeniable that they also have a negative impact on celebrities. The media has been known to provide shady information that can lead to presumptions among those who hear or watch the news, which unpleasant for celebrities because it can harm their reputation. In conclusion, the media certainly help people in gathering information about celebrities. As a consequence, it is unavoidable that media pay close attention to celebrities than to ordinary people.
Newspapers, radio, television, and other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
frequently
focus too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
(actors, singers, or footballer). I
personally
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
actsrepresents
as a medium for connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
celebrities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
intrudes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
privacy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality,
Possible spelling mistake found.
theythe
simply
provide us with information since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are curious about their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
or relationships. G-dragon,
for example
, is one of South Korea’s most well-known singers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek out G-dragon to learn about their daily life and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will look into their relationships with or scandals he had and report back to the public via newspaper, radio, or television.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attention in order to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fame.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lucinta
Luna,
for example
, is one of the controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Indonesia who does this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
gossiping and letting others know who
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lucinta
Luna is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
posts such as silly videos on Instagram to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
triggered or angry when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
makemaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news about her silly video and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lucinta
Luna well-known.

Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to connect ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, it is undeniable that they
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
been known
to provide shady information that can lead to presumptions among those who hear or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the news, which unpleasant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can harm their reputation.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in gathering information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. As a consequence, it is unavoidable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
pay close attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
than to ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay the media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. they should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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