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The leaders are directors of organisations are often elderly people. However, some say that young people can also take the lead of organisation or companies. To what extant do you agree or disagree.

The leaders are directors of organisations are often elderly people. However, some say that young people can also take the lead of organisation or companies. To what extant wYlm
There is no deny that most of the time aged people hired as directors of large firms. However, it is argued that adult could take the lead of any company. I somewhat agree with this notion, because youth have more knowledge of modern technology and mental and physical fitness also. However, aged people are experienced than adults. To commence with views of disagreement that elder people have ample of life experience throughout their life. In other words, if any crisis occur while working older people can easily tackle the situation with their experience. Therefore, senior citizens can manage the organisations effectively. Shifting towards views of agreement, at present, youth have a vast knowledge of latest technologies, and they are up to date with time. To elaborate it, young generation can easily handle the latest equipment as compared to older generation. For instance, a survey conducted by American association showed that adult mind can understand a latest software with in couple of hours instead of geriatric mind which take almost two days. So, young people are more receptive and up to minute. Further strengthening views youngsters have more physical and mental fitness. To explain it, youth have fresh mind and good physique, so that they work with enthusiasm. Along with this, they have high patience, which keep them cool-mind while working in tough situation. As a result, young generation are cool as mind and take decisions by mind rather than heart. To recapitulate, although older people have more experience, yet youth have more fitness and current knowledge regarding business and their management, due to this they handle the business in an accurate way.
There is no deny that most of the time aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hired as directors of large firms.
However
, it
is argued
that adult could take the lead of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have more knowledge of modern technology and mental and physical fitness
also
.
However
, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are experienced
than adults.

To commence with views of disagreement that elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have ample of life experience throughout their life.
In other words
, if any crisis occur while working older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
tackle the situation with their experience.
Therefore
, senior citizens can manage the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
effectively
.

Shifting towards views of agreement, at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have a vast knowledge of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies, and they are up to date with time. To elaborate it, young generation can
easily
handle the latest equipment as compared to older generation.
For instance
, a survey conducted by American association
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
can understand
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest software with in
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
hours
instead
of geriatric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
which take almost two days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more receptive and up to minute.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
strengthening views youngsters have more physical and mental fitness. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physique,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they work with enthusiasm. Along with this, they have high patience, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them cool-mind while working in tough situation.
As a result
, young generation are cool as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and take decisions by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
rather
than heart.

To recapitulate, although older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more experience,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have more fitness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
knowledge regarding business and their management, due to this they handle the business
Consider replacing "in an accurate way" with the adverb for "accurate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an accurate way
.
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IELTS essay The leaders are directors of organisations are often elderly people. However, some say that young people can also take the lead of organisation or companies. To what extant

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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