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the internet is becoming common than ever, write about it drawbacks

the internet is becoming common than ever, write about it drawbacks QVMrP
The major drawbacks of the internet are huge increase in the number of cyber crimes and loading of false information on it. Lack of adequate knowledge about how to secure online information can be very dangerous sometimes. This can be explained by online money laundering scams managed by professional hackers who are extremely good at keeping no trace of crime performed. Punjab National Bank scam is a very good example of internet fraud. Similarly, people reading false information over the internet are easily misled into believing something which is not rational and this / it can affect an individual very badly. For example, one of my friends read about a diet and exercise program online and started following it. Soon after that she started having issues of hypertension and severe backache. So it is extremely necessary to control the information present on the internet.
The major drawbacks of the internet are huge increase in the number of cyber crimes and loading of false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on it. Lack of adequate knowledge about how to secure online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by online money laundering scams managed by professional hackers who are
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at keeping no trace of crime performed. Punjab National Bank scam is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of internet fraud.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reading false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
over the internet are
easily
misled into believing something which is not rational and this / it can affect an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.
For example
, one of my friends read about a diet and exercise program online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
following it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
after that she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having issues of hypertension and severe backache.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
extremely
necessary to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
present on the internet.
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IELTS essay the internet is becoming common than ever, write about it drawbacks

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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