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The importance of protecting of natural beauty areas

The importance of protecting of natural beauty areas J06aE
Natural beauty has a vital role in our life, so we should protect it, in fact protect of natural beauty is helping to ourselves from different aspects. I want to mention two of them, expanding tourism industry and helping people's health. Due to the natural beauty, tourism industry be improved and it causes bringing more money in country, because people want to visit areas of natural beauty and enjoy them such as beaches, hot spring, mountains, and etc. On the other hand, some people enjoy calm and fresh air of natural beauty, because they can relaxing, reducing their stress level. Also I think the number of natural beauty should be increased, beacuase many of them increased heltheir people and causes cleaning air from harmful gasas that be product by factores or people. In the end, according vital role of natural beauty in our life, protecting of them is a nesseray matter for a better life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
has a vital role in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should protect it, in fact protect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
is helping to ourselves from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects. I want to mention two of them, expanding tourism industry and helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
, tourism industry be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and it causes bringing more money in country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to visit areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
and enjoy them such as beaches, hot spring, mountains,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy calm and fresh air of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "relax"
relaxing
, reducing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
should
be increased
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
heltheir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and causes cleaning air from harmful
Possible spelling mistake found.
gasas
that be product by
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "factors", the plural form of the noun 'factor'?
factores
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, according vital role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
in our life, protecting of them is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
nesseray
matter for a better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay The importance of protecting of natural beauty areas

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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