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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more phusical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you afree or disagree?

The huge amount number of overweight people has been increasing massively in recent days all over the world, another word is putting a burden on healthcare systems of any nations. It is argued that introducing more physical subjects in the school is the best way to deal with health issues. I totally agree with this statement and I will explain and present my opinion in this essay. Firstly, dealing with health problems according obesity and overweight is the best involved by approach and implement sports and exercise in school curriculums. Since students are more likely to follow the produce which is provided in school, introducing exercise is the most effective way to help them realising the improtant of health and activities, leading to a better results for a long run. Moreover, quite a few parents are busy at work
The huge amount number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has been increasing
massively
in recent days all over the world, another word is putting a burden on healthcare systems of any nations. It
is argued
that introducing more physical subjects in the school is the best way to deal with health issues. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and present my opinion in this essay.
Firstly
, dealing with health problems according obesity and overweight is the best involved by approach and implement sports and exercise in school curriculums. Since students are more likely to follow the produce which
is provided
in school, introducing exercise is the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The verb ‘effective’ is used with an infinitive: “to realise” or “realise”.
realising
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
improtant
of health and activities, leading to
The plural noun “results” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a better result” or “better results”?
a better results
for a long run.
Moreover
, quite a few parents are busy at work

IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more phusical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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