Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The growing number of overweight people are putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people say that the best solution to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people are putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people say that the best solution to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. KjA1
The serious health concerns for obese people are increasing tremendously and these issues are putting pressure on the medical infrastructure. In my opinion, I agree that topics related to health and diet should be included in initial days of learning in the school curriculum. However, I also believe that physical practice should also be part of the lessons. There are many reasons for people, who are getting sick due to overweight in early stages in their life that includes unhealthy diet, lack of exercise and unawareness of the benefits of keeping themselves healthy. Being obese results in high blood pressure, Increased sugar level and heart decease which may causes many people to depend on medicine for lifetimes. Nowadays maximum patients are visiting hospitals because of these problems only and resulting in overcrowding healthcare system. Including ‘topics related to physical awareness' in schools will teach students to prevent illness, taking essential nutrients in the diet and keeping themselves fit. A healthy diet consists of all required vitamins and minerals which can be taught in schools. In conclusion, Health education is very important if we have to prevent illness and reduce medical cost and I agree that teaching physical lessons in schools will be very beneficial to all of us and it will certainly reduce putting stain on the healthcare system.
The serious health concerns for obese
people
are increasing
tremendously
and these issues are putting pressure on the medical infrastructure. In my opinion, I
agree
that topics related to health and diet should
be included
in initial days of learning in the school curriculum.
However
, I
also
believe that physical practice should
also
be part of the lessons.

There are
many
reasons for
people
, who are getting sick due to overweight in early stages in their life that includes unhealthy diet, lack of exercise and unawareness of the benefits of keeping themselves healthy. Being obese results in high blood pressure, Increased sugar level and heart decease which may causes
many
people
to depend on medicine for lifetimes. Nowadays maximum patients are visiting hospitals
because
of these problems
only
and resulting in overcrowding healthcare system.

Including ‘topics related to physical awareness' in schools will teach students to
prevent
illness, taking essential nutrients in the diet and keeping themselves fit. A healthy diet consists of all required vitamins and minerals which can
be taught
in schools.

In conclusion
, Health education is
very
important
if we
have to
prevent
illness and
reduce
medical cost and I
agree
that teaching physical lessons in schools will be
very
beneficial to all of us and it will
certainly
reduce
putting stain on the healthcare system.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people are putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people say that the best solution to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts