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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is often debated that government should spend citizen’s taxes for public utilities rather than cultural events. It is often argued that civil services are playing a significant role in our lives. This essay agrees that spending money for civil services is an essential investment; however, hand out a certain amount of money for art events every year will be relevant too. It is clear that due to the world’s current situation when citizens faced with Covid-19, everyone understood that public services should be in a priory place, where government will focus on while spending most of taxes. Moreover, the majority of civil servants worked during this time without day offs and overtime surcharges, because government did not have enough money to pay them and buy drugs. Government could overcome this adversity if they have extra money. On the other hand, diverse range of art is also crucial part of human cultural life. In addition, when people watch a play at the theatre or listening good life music they have an opportunity to relax and forget a bit about problems in their lives. In some instances for a number of people art could help to inspire them for creating new product and discover new skills. In conclusion, it should be noted this essay agrees with both points of view, because both public services and culture may significantly influence in people’s lives. The responsibility for targeted spending and budgeting lies to government. If they make the right decisions and spend money effectively there will be no problems in the future.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend citizen’s taxes for public utilities
rather
than cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are playing a significant role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is an essential investment;
however
, hand out a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
every year will be relevant too.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that due to the world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation when citizens faced with Covid-19, everyone understood that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should be in a priory place, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will focus on while spending
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the taxes") or simply say "most taxes".
most of taxes
.
Moreover
, the majority of civil servants worked during this time without day offs and overtime surcharges,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
drugs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
could overcome this adversity if they have extra money.

On the other hand
, diverse range of art is
also
crucial part of human cultural life.
In addition
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a play at the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
or listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life music they have an opportunity to relax and forget a bit about problems in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances for a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
art could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to inspire them for creating new product and discover new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, it should
be noted
this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with both points of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and culture may
significantly
influence in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The responsibility for targeted spending and budgeting lies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decisions and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
effectively
there will be no problems in the future.
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IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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