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The government has decided to build a factory in your community agree or not

The government has decided to build a factory in your community agree or not AjQQN
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of factory construction in a community. Some people consider only the disadvantages of construction in society, whereas others take it as an opportunity for a myriad of reasons. I wholeheartedly support the establishment of a factory in my town because the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I will explore the reasons for this choice in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, developing industry will provide the opportunity of employments to town dwellers which gradually reduces the other associated problems. Because of unemployment, young generations indulge themselves in many crimes to fulfill their financial needs and raise their living standards. Starting a new company would provide the youngsters with jobs, and therefore crime ratio in the community will be declined too. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter is profoundly influenced by my own experience in my city. Two years ago, my town has a high ratio of crimes, convicted by young unemployed people. Then, the textile industry is started in my city which gave the chances of employment to many young people. As a result, this year the crime ratio is significantly reduced. If a new company had not provided people with jobs, it would have never been possible to reduce the crimes in my town. Secondly, the factory will results in huge revenue for the government which they can use in starting other construction projects. People will naturally attract to the commodities of the factory, resulting in huge sales and profit for the company, and the government can use that revenue to start new projects in society. Drawing from my own experience, the government constructed a textile factory in my town two years ago. The profit was so immense that the following year, authorities passed the bill to build a new department in the local university in my town Moreover, it also aids in improvements of financial conditions of the town. It is certainly clear to see why it’s so important to build a new company to have better financial revenue. Lastly, people will initiate new interactions and relationships with neighboring cities after a new factory starts its operation. This is because, when the factory is established, it will attract the public of nearby cities, and they might want to build their relations with the people of the town. Thus, the social circle of people living in town would be broadened. In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that the factory building project will not only provide the people with employment opportunities, but it will also amplify the city revenue. Moreover, it strengthens the relationship with nearby communities.
No one can deny that there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
construction in a community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the disadvantages of construction in society, whereas others take it as an opportunity for a myriad of reasons. I
wholeheartedly
support the establishment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I will explore the reasons for this choice in subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, developing industry will provide the opportunity of employments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
dwellers which
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the other associated problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of unemployment, young generations indulge themselves in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to fulfill their financial needs and raise their living standards. Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would provide the youngsters with jobs, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio in the community will
be declined
too. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter is
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience in my city. Two years ago, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
has a high ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, convicted by young unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Then, the textile industry is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in my city which gave the chances of employment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio is
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
had not provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with jobs, it would have never been possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in my town.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "result"
results
in huge revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in starting other construction projects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
naturally
attract to the commodities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
, resulting in huge sales and profit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that revenue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
projects in society. Drawing from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
constructed a textile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
two years ago. The profit was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
immense that the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, authorities passed the bill to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
department in the local university in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Moreover
, it
also
aids in improvements of financial conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. It is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to have better financial revenue.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
interactions and relationships with neighboring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
its operation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
is established
, it will attract the public of nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and they might want to build their relations with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
Thus
, the social circle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
would
be broadened
.

In light of the above-mentioned reasons, I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
building project will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with employment opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
amplify the city revenue.
Moreover
, it strengthens the relationship with nearby communities.
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IELTS essay The government has decided to build a factory in your community agree or not

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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