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The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company. "Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. On

The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company. " Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. On GMWLm
In this recomendation, the director argues that in order to improve the productivity of the employess in Acme Publishing Company, the president should afford them for the Easy Read Course, which was benefit to the company. The aurhor illustrates several edivence to prove the suggestion. Firstly, there were many other companies having their employees to attend this course. Secondly, some of the employees made impressive performance when they finished this course. Thirdly, compared with the benefits that the course brings in, the tuition fee was reasonal for each employee. While the suggestion is problematic in that there are some loopholes in it, more evidence are needed as those in the recommendation are not convicing, we need to evaluate this argument carefully. To begin with, whether the other companies could be compared with the Acme Publishing Compnay is still in question. As the author does not tell us what kinds of the other companies are, we could not draw the conclusion without this essential reference. In another word, if the other companies were not in the same publishing field, the evidence would not be compelling due to the irrelavance. So more infromation about all of these companies are needed to prove the argument. Another point is the scale of the students attending to the class is not given, so we could not evaluate the effect of the course. As the author cites two cases of the students while how about all the other students' performance is not told by the author. As we could not evaluate the average performance of the students, the successful cases metioned by the director could be unusual as maybe the other sutdents could not make the same progress like the two graduates metioned in the argument. Moreover, as there are only two successfull cases cited by the director, what made them make so much progress is not given. Maybe they were just very talented while all the others could not be so successfull. In addtion, the comparing between the benefit to the company and the tuition fee is not convicing. Firstly, we do not know how many kinds of jobs in the Acme Publishing Company thus wheher all of the employees should learn this coures is still in question. As maybe there are some employees who do not need to get so mych information in a short time like the guradians of the company. Secondly, we do not konw the totall number of the staff in this company, even if $500 for each employee is a small, the totall expense could also be very high if there are many employees. In conclusion, the advice given by the director is not convicing as the reasoning in this arguement is not compelling. To strenthen the author's argument, he/she should make more survey to gather more evidence to prove the effect for all of the employees attending in this course, also, he /she should find more compelling data.
In this
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recomendation
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
director
argues that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the productivity of the
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employess
in Acme
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Publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
, the president should afford them for the Easy Read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Course
, which was benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. The
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aurhor
illustrates several
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edivence
to prove the suggestion.
Firstly
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
having their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to attend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Secondly
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
made impressive performance when they finished this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Thirdly
, compared with the benefits that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
brings in, the tuition fee was
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonal
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. While the suggestion is problematic in that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loopholes in it, more evidence
are needed
as those in the recommendation are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
convicing
, we need to evaluate this argument
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could
be compared
with the Acme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Publishing
Possible spelling mistake found.
Compnay
is
still
in question. As the author does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us what kinds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are, we could not draw the conclusion without this essential reference. In another word, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
were not in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publishing
field, the evidence would not be compelling due to the
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irrelavance
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
more
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infromation
about all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are needed
to prove the argument.

Another point is the scale of the students attending to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we could not evaluate the effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. As the author cites two cases of the students while how about all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students' performance is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by the author. As we could not evaluate the average performance of the students, the successful cases
Possible spelling mistake found.
metioned
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
director
could be unusual as maybe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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sutdents
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same progress
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
the two graduates
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metioned
in the argument.
Moreover
, as there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two
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successfull
cases cited by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
director
, what made them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much progress is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Maybe they were
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just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented while all the others could not be
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so
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successfull
.

In
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addtion
, the comparing between the benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and the tuition fee is not
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convicing
.
Firstly
, we do not know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of jobs in the Acme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
thus
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wheher
Consider using "all the".
all of the
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employees
should learn this
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coures
is
still
in question. As maybe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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so
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mych
information in a short time like the
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guradians
of the
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company
.
Secondly
, we do not
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konw
the
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totall
number of the staff in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, even if $500 for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, the
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totall
expense could
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees.

In conclusion
, the advice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
director
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
convicing
as the reasoning in this
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arguement
is not compelling. To
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strenthen
the author's argument, he/she should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more survey to gather more evidence to prove the effect for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
attending in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
also
, he /she should find more compelling data.
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IELTS essay The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company. " Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. On

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
489 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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