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The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Peter Jones In order to relieve Briggsville s notorious traffic congestion Mayor Harrison Peter Jones plans to build a multi million dollar subway system The subway will run through the major

The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Peter Jones In order to relieve Briggsville s notorious traffic congestion Mayor Harrison Peter Jones plans to build a multi million dollar subway system The subway will run through the major E39Ab
Mayor argue that building subway system, which will reduce traffice congestion, will ultimetely improve the economy of Briggsville. Howver, he failed to provide essential iformation on unstated assumption. The first thing he assumed that is most of worker are working inside major downtown areas from which the subway will pass. But what if Briggsville is industrial town and worker daily commute to area different from downtown. So, building the subway system will not improve work effecienty at all. Even if suppose mojority people are working in downtown, preference of Biggsville people also needs to consider. For instance, in case people prefer car instead of the subway becuase subway can not provide remote trasportation. Also inconsistency and lack of safety of bus service may hinder people from taking bus after arriving to subway station. In this situation traffic congestion is unlikely to do down. Also, mayor did not stated population of worker and monetary value of improvement in workers' efficiency. The subway sytem is a multi-million-dollor project and finacial feasibility must be checked before arriving any conclusion of improvement in economy. Consider, only slight increase in productivity which is well below the project cost of the subway system can lead to downturn in Briggsville economy. And he were not sure about relation between productivity and time spend in traffic. People may spend time with their family instead of working. In conclusion, Mayor Harrison assumed relationhsip between the subway system, Briggsville economy improvement and workers' productivity withous stating any clarification on Briggsville people preference, finacial feasibility and working location of people.
Mayor
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
traffice
congestion, will
Possible spelling mistake found.
ultimetely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briggsville
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howver
, he failed to provide essential
Possible spelling mistake found.
iformation
on unstated assumption.

The
first
thing he assumed
that is
Consider using "most worker" or "most of the worker".
most of worker
are working inside major downtown areas from which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
will pass.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what if
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briggsville
is industrial town and worker daily commute to area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from downtown.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, building the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
effecienty
at all.

Even if suppose
Possible spelling mistake found.
mojority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working in downtown, preference of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Biggsville
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
needs to consider.
For instance
, in case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer car
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
can not provide remote
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasportation
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
inconsistency and lack of safety of bus service may hinder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from taking bus after arriving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
station. In this situation traffic congestion is unlikely to do down.

Also
, mayor did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "state"
stated
population of worker and monetary value of improvement in workers' efficiency. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
Possible spelling mistake found.
sytem
is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-million-dollor
project and
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacial
feasibility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving any conclusion of improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. Consider,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slight increase in productivity which is well below the project cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can lead to downturn in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briggsville
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. And he were not sure about relation between productivity and time spend in traffic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may spend time with their family
instead
of working.

In conclusion
, Mayor Harrison assumed
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationhsip
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briggsville
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
improvement and workers' productivity
Possible spelling mistake found.
withous
stating any clarification on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briggsville
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preference,
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacial
feasibility and working location of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Peter Jones In order to relieve Briggsville s notorious traffic congestion Mayor Harrison Peter Jones plans to build a multi million dollar subway system The subway will run through the major

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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