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The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis. "in Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing num

The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis. " in Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing num 9LBp0
In this article, the author recommends the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work. To support this recommendation, the author points out that, since the law school graduates experience greater job satisfaction, they prefer to work for the smaller firms even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries. He also cites a survey regarding first-year students at a leading law school that indicates, for them, job satisfaction was more important than earning a high salary. Close scrutiny of each of these supporting evidences, however, reveals that none of them lends credible support to the recommendation. First and foremost, the argument rests on the unsubstantiated assumption that the students preference to work for small, general practice firms is responsible for the 15% decline in the number of students who went to work for the large, corporate firms over the last three years. However, the writer of the argument fails to offer any evidence that this is the case. It is entirely possible that other factors caused the decline. Perhaps, in the last three years less job positions were available for the students. Since the article fails to account for this and other possible scenarios, the article’s author cannot make any sound recommendation for the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis to offer more benefits and incentives for the graduates. Secondly, the term “job satisfaction” is ambiguous, in my opinion. One must admit that everyone defines job satisfaction distinctively; for instance, some students are satisfied with their job if they receive a high salary. On the other hand, some others define job satisfaction as having less workload or friendly colleagues and milieu. If so, this further undermines the author’s recommendation in prescribing any course of action to recompense the 15% decline due to vocational preferences of graduates. As for the survey that the article cites, it is unreasonable to draw any conclusion about the entire law school graduates in the city of Megalopolis based on the statistics about only the first-years students. Depending on the number of first-years students and their job preferences, it is undeniably possible that the first-years students were not representative of the law school graduates. If this is the case, the recommendation might amount to poor advice for the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis. In sum, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must either account for other possible reasons for the 15% decline in the number of students who preferred to work for large, corporate firms, or supply persuasive evidence that the first-years student were representative of the total law school graduates. To better assess the recommendation, I need to know whether all law school students define “job satisfaction” as less working hours.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
recommends the
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large
,
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corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
of Megalopolis to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
more benefits and incentives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of hours they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
points out that, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
experience greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
much higher salaries. He
also
cites a survey regarding
first
-year
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students
at a leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that indicates, for them,
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job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
was more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than earning a high salary.
Consider using "scrutiny".
Close scrutiny
of each of these supporting evidences,
however
, reveals that none of them lends credible support to the recommendation.

First
and foremost, the argument rests on the unsubstantiated assumption that the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, general practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
is responsible for the 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decline
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
over the last three years.
However
, the writer of the argument fails to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
any evidence that this is the case. It is
entirely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decline
. Perhaps, in the last three years less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions were available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
fails to account for this and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
scenarios, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
of Megalopolis to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
more benefits and incentives for the graduates.

Secondly
, the term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction”
is ambiguous, in my opinion. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that everyone defines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
distinctively
;
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they receive a high salary. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
as having less workload or friendly colleagues and milieu. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this
further
undermines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
in prescribing any course of action to recompense the 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decline
due to vocational preferences of graduates.

As for the survey that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
cites, it is unreasonable to draw any conclusion about the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in the city of Megalopolis based on the statistics about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
first
-years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
first
-years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
preferences, it is
undeniably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
that the
first
-years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were not representative of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. If this is the case, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
might amount to poor advice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
of Megalopolis.

In sum, the argument is
logically
flawed and
therefore
unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
either account for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
reasons for the 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decline
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
, or supply persuasive evidence that the
first
-years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
were representative of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. To better assess the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
, I need to know whether all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction”
as less working hours.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis. " in Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing num

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
469 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis. "in Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing num