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The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company."We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power,' by Peter Wood. W

The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company. " We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power, ' by Peter Wood. W YLmPN
The author of this argument claims that investing on a buying the right to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power' written by Peter Wood will be a rational decision in the long run. To support this claim the author cites that last three books published by this writer have been popular and the movie produced based on the first book was popular too. The excerpt's author also notes that specified characters and story line can save money in producing this video game. The argument rests on a series of unconvincing assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands. The author bases his claim partly on the fact that sale rates of last three books published by Peter Wood and movies produced based on the his first book can be suitable signs of high rates of sale in video game which will be produced by this company. However, the author overlooks the reality the popularity of his previous books does not necessarily mean fame and popularity of all his books. In other work, it may encounter low sale whether because of decline in its writing or because of lack of finding more adventures in the book. Besides, the movie produced based on the first book has nothing to do with popularity of this game since it is possible that presence of famous characters in the movie was the main reason for popularity of the movie not the adventure of the book. Lacking enough convincing evidence to repel such possibilities, the author cannot defend the importance of investing on buying this right for producing the video game. In further support of his claim the chief executive states that presence of characters and story line are what can save money and time in developing this game. Nevertheless, the executive provides no evidence that these characters will be popular among children like other characters in the previous books. Besides, it is possible that other companies produce some games attracting children. Or perhaps, who can guarantee that the taste and interest of children will not be undermined till producing this video game. Without ruling out such explanations, it is cumbersome to vote on the authenticity and truth of the claim mentioned by the author. Besides, the author wrongly states that this book will be popular. However, since this book has not been published, making decision based on history does not seem to be rational. how can one judge a book while he/she has some vague information about the book? Finally, the author states that this right is expensive and it puts some limitations on the company, but the sale of this game can compensate this constrains. However, executive has not provided any more information about market, and content of this book to convince someone that this game will achieve high sale rates since it is possible the content does not fit children's requirements. Without ruling out such alternative explanations, executive cannot substantiate his claim. In conclusion, author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To persuade me, the author must provide some evidence that adventure of the book was the main reason for popularity of the movies not movie stars. The author would also need to provide characters will be popular among children and till launching this game in the market, other companies cannot affect the position of this game. We would also need more information that the game will be able to satisfy children and will find its position in the market.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
of this argument
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that investing on a buying the right to produce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game based on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
-to-be-published children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
'Squirrel Power' written by Peter Wood will be a rational decision in the long run. To support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cites that last three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
published by this writer have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
based on the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
too. The excerpt's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
also
notes that specified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
and story line can save money in producing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game. The argument rests on a series of unconvincing assumptions, and is
therefore
unpersuasive as it stands.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
bases his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
partly on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
rates of last three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
published by Peter Wood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
based on the his
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can be suitable signs of high rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game which will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
overlooks the reality the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of his previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
does not
necessarily
mean fame and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
work, it may encounter low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of decline in its writing or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of finding more adventures in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
based on the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
has nothing to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of this game since it is possible that presence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
was the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
not the adventure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. Lacking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to repel such possibilities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cannot defend the importance of investing on buying this right for producing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game.

In
further
support of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
the chief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
states that presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
and story line are what can save money and time in developing this game.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
provides no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
in the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Besides
, it is possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Or perhaps, who can guarantee that the taste and interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not
be undermined
till producing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game. Without ruling out such explanations, it is cumbersome to vote on the authenticity and truth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
mentioned by the author.

Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
wrongly
states that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
.
However
, since this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
has not
been published
, making decision based on history does not seem to be rational.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
how
can one judge a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
while he/she has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vague information about the book?

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
states that this right is expensive and it puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of this game can compensate this constrains.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
has not provided any more information about market, and content of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
to convince someone that this game will achieve high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
rates since it is possible the content does not fit children's requirements. Without ruling out such alternative explanations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
cannot substantiate his claim.

In conclusion
, author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
lends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
credible support to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
. To persuade me, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
that adventure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
stars. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
would
also
need to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and till launching this game in the market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
cannot affect the position of this game. We would
also
need more information that the game will be able to satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and will find its position in the market.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company. " We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power, ' by Peter Wood. W

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
585 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company."We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power,' by Peter Wood. W