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Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land?

Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? bYO1B
I would like to use my land for everybody's sake such as a useful and attractive place for children young, adults, and elders. There is no place provides such as quantity of different activities in my city. It could be a convenient area for outdoor activities, calmer environments, and meeting points for everybody. There are not various outdoor activities such as camping, rock climbing, yoga, swimming, theme parks etc. We have only one open-air swimming pool and it is quite small for inhabitants of the city. These various opportunities would contribute increasing advantages of our city. The theme parks also fantastic place to be in there. People who get exhausting from outdoor activities, they could have a rest in calmer places to get relax and rest as well. Jacuzzi, hammam, sauna, swimming pool would be included in SPA. The entrance of SPA is so expensive in my city but in that place, it could be suitable for all budget of people. Also, libraries are fabulous places to purify from the external world. Concerning people's desires and expectations, cinema is also a place that requires being calm. In my town, there are a lot of small cafes and restaurants to drink and eat something while chilling with friends. But they are quite expensive for young especially if they are students. I would make it these restaurants and cafes less expensive and with so many discounts for students. In that cases, it would entertain more people. We don't have the opportunity to chill or meet with friends in the places which could be for sitting, having picnics, of bringing the children. The diversity of parks with swings, seesaws, slides etc. It could be better to meet in free places for some part of residents.
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my land for everybody's sake such as a useful and attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for children young, adults, and elders. There is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
provides such as quantity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in my city. It could be a convenient area for outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, calmer environments, and meeting points for everybody.

There are not various outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as camping, rock climbing, yoga, swimming, theme parks etc. We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one open-air swimming pool and it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
for inhabitants of the city. These various opportunities would contribute increasing advantages of our city. The theme parks
also
fantastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to be in there.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exhausting from outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they could have a rest in calmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relax and rest
as well
. Jacuzzi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hammam
, sauna, swimming pool would
be included
in SPA. The entrance of SPA is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive in my city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, it could be suitable for all budget of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, libraries are fabulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to purify from the external world. Concerning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's desires and expectations, cinema is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that requires being calm.

In my town, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and restaurants to drink and eat something while chilling with friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they are quite expensive for young
especially
if they are students. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it these restaurants and
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
less expensive and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
discounts for students. In that cases, it would entertain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We don't have the opportunity to chill or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with friends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which could be for sitting, having picnics, of bringing the children. The diversity of parks with swings, seesaws, slides etc. It could be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of residents.
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IELTS essay Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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