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The first smartphone was released in 1992. By the year 2022 there may be as many as 3 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The first smartphone was released in 1992. By the year 2022 there may be as many as 3 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our minds. Nb2W
Ever since the first smartphone was launched, the mobile industry has undergone a dramatic transformation. Cell phones today perform a lot of tasks that only a few decades ago no one could have imagined. In my opinion, smartphones have made our lives easier but this has come at a cost and we are now very dependant on these devices and this is certainly having a negative impact on our collective intelligence. These devices are becoming an integral part of our lives and play an important role and control a number of activities that we do on a daily basis. Smartphones have applications that perform a number of tasks like a calculator to do simple maths to writing aid applications with auto correct and writing suggestions which aim at reducing human effort and improving the quality and speed at which work is done but the result is that we are reducing the use of our minds and intelligence and are becoming dependent and reliant on these devices to complete our work. Children are more prone and affected by the usage of these devices which are quite handy and easy to easy. Studies have shown that watching a lot of cartoons and videos on smartphones at an early age may impair the learning and speaking areas of the brain making children develop certain autistic features which makes them socially awkward and isolated. These effects may be life long and require intensive therapy and expert intervention to undo the damages caused to the brain. This is a clear indication of how dangerous the dependance of smartphones can be on even adults who often panic and feel that they are crippled when they cannot find their phone or when it is out of battery. In conclusion, while smartphones allow us to access and do a lot of things and it seems the world is at our fingertips, the reality is we are becoming increasingly dependant on these devices and this is impeding the mind growth in children and lowering our overall intellectual capabilities.
Ever since the
first
smartphone
was launched
, the mobile industry has undergone a dramatic transformation. Cell phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tasks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few decades ago no one could have imagined. In my opinion, smartphones have made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cost and
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "dependent" on?
dependant
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and this is
certainly
having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our collective intelligence.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are becoming an integral part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and control a number of activities that we do on a daily basis. Smartphones have applications that perform a number of tasks like a calculator to do simple
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
to writing aid applications with
This word is normally spelled as one.
auto correct
and writing suggestions which aim at reducing human effort and improving the quality and speed at which work
is done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the result is that we are reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of our minds and intelligence and are becoming dependent and reliant on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to complete our work.

Children are more prone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the usage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
which are quite handy and easy to easy. Studies have shown that watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cartoons and videos on smartphones at an early age may impair the learning and speaking areas of the brain making children develop certain autistic features which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
socially
awkward and isolated. These effects may be life long and require intensive therapy and expert intervention to undo the damages caused to the brain. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependance
of smartphones can be on even adults who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
panic and feel that they
are crippled
when they cannot find their phone or when it is out of battery.

In conclusion
, while smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to access and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things and it seems the world is at our fingertips, the reality is we are becoming
increasingly
Did you mean "dependent" on?
dependant
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and this is impeding the mind growth in children and lowering our
overall
intellectual capabilities.
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IELTS essay The first smartphone was released in 1992. By the year 2022 there may be as many as 3 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our minds.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The first smartphone was released in 1992. By the year 2022 there may be as many as 3 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?