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The effect of video games on children

The effect of video games on children MpwN
We live in the digital era. Many people nowadays do their affairs (such as bank transactions, paying bills and etc. ) from laptops, smartphones, and many other technological devices. This also affects children. In the old times, children were playing with toys and each other but now they play with their Nintendo, PlayStation, and smartphones. This can have bad and good effects. Playing games with technological devices can have many bad effects on people, especially on children. When children cry or bored, families give their phones to their children to make them happy and maybe at this moment children can be happy but in the future that’s will be really harmful to them because children playing many mobile games which they must not. Education of children at these ages is really important but they grow up with action and surviving games, in general, that affects their psychological situation, the life of people coming to them as a simple thing, they do not care so much but also they are being anti-social because of these games. As well as many bad side effects, the games can be helpful in children’s development. There are many games which teach children. Many children learned many things that we learned when we were young. When you ask something that we can not answer in these ages about geography or other topics they can answer in general. In conclusion, games can affect children in a bad way or good way and this depends on how their family pays attention to them. The families must take the education about the effect of digital games on their children.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the digital era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays do their affairs (such as bank transactions, paying bills
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
from laptops, smartphones, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other technological devices. This
also
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were playing with toys and each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they play with their Nintendo, PlayStation, and smartphones. This can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects.

Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with technological devices can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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bad
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cry or bored, families give their phones to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy and maybe at this moment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the future that’s will be
really
harmful to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not.

Education of
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children
at these ages is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they grow up with action and surviving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
in general
, that affects their psychological situation, the life of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
coming to them as a simple thing, they do not care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are being anti-social
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these games.

As well
as
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
side effects, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be helpful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that we learned when we were young. When you ask something that we can not answer in these ages about geography or other topics they can answer
in general
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
way or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way and this depends on how their family pays attention to them. The families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the education about the effect of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay The effect of video games on children

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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