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The data from a survey of high school math and science teachers show that in the district of Sanlee many of these teachers reported assigning daily homework, whereas in the district of Marlee, most science and math teachers reported assigning homework no

The data from a survey of high school math and science teachers show that in the district of Sanlee many of these teachers reported assigning daily homework, whereas in the district of Marlee, most science and math teachers reported assigning homework no LrqNV
The author argues that teachers in high school should not assign homework more than twice a week. The author makes his argument based on a survey of high school math and science teachers that reported to only giving out homework two or three days per week. In addition, the author claims that despite getting less homework, Marlee students get better grades compared to Sanlee students who are given homework each school day. However, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence, and avoids three important questions that weaken the authors argument. First, the author fails to provide enough evidence that would in turn help make a stronger argument. While a survey was concluded, the author fails to provide evidence of how many teachers were interviewed. Were three teachers survyed or forty? How many schools did the author look at to come up with this assertion? Thus, by leaving out this curcial information the author fails to convience other schools to adopt a similiar approach. Furthermore, the author throws in the word 'many' and 'most', however, what is many or most in his/her point of view? Maybe by many or most the author assumes that he/she does not have to provide the actual number of teachers who were surveyed. For instance, is it possible that by saying most the author reffers to the teachers who decided to complete this survey? Moreover, what about the teachers who disagree, and did not complete the survey what are their opinions on this. Thus, not enough crucial evidence is provided here to make such a bold request. Finally, only two schools are mentioned here, thus is possible that perhaps the teachers who were surveyed by the author grade way differently and that being the reason for such grade difference between the two schools? In addition, the author compares two different schools that may operate differently and may have different teaching styles. Each school has its own philasophy, therefore, comparing just two schools to make this bold predicition is invalid and falls flat since not enough evidence is presented. In sum, while the author may be on to something, he/she fails to provide sufficient evidence to convience other schools that giving out less homework will increase student performance. By failing to provide the number of teachers surveyed, throwing words in such as 'many' and 'most', and discussing if the two schools are similiar the author fails to provide necessary evidence to help think otherwise. Therefore, by having three major plot holes in his/her argument the author is unable to have a strong argument to convience other schools to adopt the same teaching method.
The
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author
argues that
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teachers
in high
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school
should not assign
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homework
more than twice a week. The
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author
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makes
his
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argument
based on a
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survey
of high
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school
math and science
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teachers
that reported to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving out
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homework
two or three days per week.
In addition
, the
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author
claims that despite getting less
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homework
,
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Marlee
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better grades compared to
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Sanlee
students
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who
are
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given
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homework
each
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school
day.
However
, the
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author
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fails
to
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provide
sufficient
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evidence
, and avoids three
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important
questions that weaken the
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authors
argument.

First
, the
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author
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fails
to
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provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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evidence
that would in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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make
a stronger
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argument
. While a
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survey
was concluded
, the
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author
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fails
to
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provide
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evidence
of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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teachers
were interviewed
. Were three
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teachers
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survyed
or forty? How
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many
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schools
did the
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author
look at to
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come
up with this assertion?
Thus
, by leaving out this
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curcial
information the
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author
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fails
to
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convience
other
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schools
to adopt a
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similiar
approach.

Furthermore
, the
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author
throws in the word '
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many
' and 'most',
however
, what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
or most in his/her point of view? Maybe by
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many
or most the
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author
assumes that he/she does not
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have to
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provide
the actual number of
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teachers
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who
were surveyed
.
For instance
, is it possible that by saying most the
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author
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reffers
to the
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teachers
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who
decided to complete this
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survey
?
Moreover
, what about the
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teachers
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who
disagree, and did not complete the
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survey
what are their opinions on this.
Thus
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
crucial
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evidence
is provided
here to
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make
such a bold request.

Finally
,
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only
two
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schools
are mentioned
here,
thus
is possible that perhaps the
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teachers
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who
were surveyed
by the
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author
grade way
differently
and that being the reason for such grade difference between the two
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schools
?
In addition
, the
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author
compares two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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schools
that may operate
differently
and may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
teaching styles. Each
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school
has its
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own
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philasophy
,
therefore
, comparing
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just
two
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schools
to
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make
this bold
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predicition
is invalid and falls flat since not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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evidence
is presented
.

In sum, while the
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author
may be on to something, he/she
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fails
to
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provide
sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
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convience
other
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schools
that giving out less
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homework
will increase student performance. By failing to
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provide
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
surveyed, throwing words in such as '
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
' and 'most', and discussing if the two
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schools
are
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similiar
the
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author
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fails
to
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provide
necessary
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evidence
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
.
Therefore
, by having three major plot holes in his/her
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argument
the
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author
is unable to have a strong
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argument
to
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convience
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to adopt the same teaching method.

IELTS essay The data from a survey of high school math and science teachers show that in the district of Sanlee many of these teachers reported assigning daily homework, whereas in the district of Marlee, most science and math teachers reported assigning homework no

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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