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The country you’d like to visit one day

The country you’d like to visit one day GWRPB
Last year, my family planned to visit Japan after I had finished a University entrance exam. But because of the 19-Covid epidemic, we had to call off this plan and postpone until the epidemic will be completely stopped. So, I’m really avid to visit Japan one day at the earliest. It will be wonderful when my family visits Japan together in the winter next year. Because we like snow and we haven’t ever seen snow before. We have just watched it on TV, and the winter will be definitely a suitable decision. One more reason, Japan has a lot of beautiful places, and beauties of culture…, therefore we will spend about 15 days discovering the whole of Japan. I will visit Tokyo first. Because Tokyo is the capital of Japan and I’m living in Ha Noi- the capital of Viet Nam. I’m really want to know how different about life, culture…between Tokyo and Ha Noi. Both are big cities. Some of my friends who have visited Tokyo said the food is really delicious and I should try eating as I arrive here. And it’s sure. The food is the second reason I want to visit Japan. The main place we want to visit is the Odori Park of Sapporo city. In the winter, Odori Park is always one of the most attractive places in Japan. Here not only has snow, but also we can see the cherry blossom. I can imagine a beautiful view. Besides, we will take part in the festival in Japan. I know Japan has many cultural beauties, exciting activities and folk games…It will be wonderful if I can take part in One day in the future, I will definitely visit Japan. I believe that it’s one of the most memorable memories in my life.
Last year, my family planned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
after I had finished a University entrance exam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the 19-Covid epidemic, we had to call off this plan and postpone until the epidemic will be completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I’m
really
avid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
one day at the earliest.

It will be wonderful when my family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
together in the winter
next
year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
snow and
we haven’t ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
snow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. We have
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just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
it on TV, and the winter will be definitely a suitable decision. One more reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
places, and beauties of culture…,
therefore
we will spend about 15 days discovering the whole of Japan.

I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Tokyo
first
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Tokyo is the capital of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and I’m living in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
- the capital of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam. I’m
really
Consider using a past participle here: "wanted".
want
to know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
about life, culture…between Tokyo and Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
. Both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of my friends who have visited Tokyo said the food is
really
delicious and I should try eating as I arrive here. And it’s sure. The food is the second reason I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Japan.

The main place we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Odori
Park of Sapporo city. In the winter,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Odori
Park is always one of the most attractive places in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. Here not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
has
snow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the cherry blossom. I can imagine a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
view.
Besides
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the festival in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. I know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultural beauties, exciting activities and folk games…
Add a space between sentences
It
will be wonderful if I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


One day in the future, I will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. I believe that it’s one of the most memorable memories in my life.
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IELTS essay The country you’d like to visit one day

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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