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The climate affects the body as well as mind of a person.

The climate affects the body as well as mind of a person. A few people like scorching weather while many love to live in a cold climate. In my opinion, freezing weather is much better because people mostly remain inside of their homes and give time to their families. Boiling weather is preferable to some people since they love the sunlight. Although they precipitate under the sun, its light is beneficial for the human body as it provides multiple vitamins and minerals. In other words, people remain healthy and active in hot climate despite precipitation. In Delhi, for instance, the capital of India, the average temperature remains above 35 degree Celsius throughout the year. Its citizens are healthier than that of other cities where the weather is comparably lower than Delhi. Conversely, many people love freezing temperature since they can give ample time to their families. That is to say that business activities usually remain dull in this weather and people do not go outside of their home. As a result, they enjoy giving time to their families and friends. For example, the weather in Beijing, the capital of China, remains cold during the year and its citizens hardly go outside of their homes in the evening. Instead, they play different games together with watching movies with their families. This increases the bonding in relationships and make them stronger. In conclusion, while few people like to stay in scorching weather because of healthiness, many want to live in cold weather. Since people can spend enough time with their loved ones, I think people should prefer the cold climate.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
affects the body
as well
as mind of a person. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like scorching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
. In my opinion, freezing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is much better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
This phrase is redundant. Consider using “inside”.
inside of
their homes and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their families.

Boiling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is preferable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the sunlight. Although they precipitate under the sun, its light is beneficial for the human body as it provides multiple vitamins and minerals.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
healthy and active in hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
despite precipitation. In Delhi,
for instance
, the capital of India, the average temperature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remains
above 35 degree Celsius throughout the year. Its citizens are healthier than that of other cities where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is
comparably
lower than Delhi.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
freezing temperature since they can give ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their families.
That is
to say that business activities
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
dull in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using “outside”.
outside of
their home.
As a result
, they enjoy giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their families and friends.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
in Beijing, the capital of China,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
during the year and its citizens hardly go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using “outside”.
outside of
their homes in the evening.
Instead
, they play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games together with watching movies with their families. This increases the bonding in relationships and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stronger.

In conclusion
, while few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to stay in scorching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of healthiness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
.
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IELTS essay The climate affects the body as well as mind of a person.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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