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Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that in the present-day children receive a limited amount of time from their parents, and they do not give them considerable attentiveness. I completely agree that today's children have less care for their parents. On the one hand, I agree that it is necessary these days that both genders do a job to earn a sustainable living, because economic conditions are not so good nowadays, and both genders need to work hard. Moreover, now there are a lot of opportunities for everyone, people are busy using their gadgets, and life has become so much busy; since, the world becomes a global village everything seems to be robotic. Nevertheless, I believe that children are also attention seekers. No doubt parents have to work and they have no time for anything, but their children need them the most. If they do not give time to their children then they become less-confident citizens, and they are more likely to involve in a crime. The other thing is, life does not like that as in a past. In past, people had plenty of time for their children because they work on farms and their children play near to them and did easily supervise them, and in those days only one family member was involved in working. In conclusion, due to the fast-paced society, children these days get the insufficient time and attention from their parents.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in the present-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive a limited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from their parents, and they do not give them considerable attentiveness. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have less care for their parents.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is necessary these days that both genders do a job to earn a sustainable living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
economic conditions are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nowadays, and both genders need to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities for everyone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are busy using their gadgets, and life has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much busy; since, the world becomes a global village everything seems to be robotic.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
also
attention seekers. No doubt parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for anything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need them the most. If they do not give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
then they become less-confident citizens, and they are more likely to involve in a crime. The other thing is, life does not like that as in a past.
Did you mean: “In the past”?
In past
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they work on farms and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play near to them and did
easily
supervise them, and in those days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one family member
was involved
in working.

In conclusion
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and attention from their parents.
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IELTS essay Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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