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The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the gr

The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the gr Lr3W6
In city of Winston, there are two large department stores named Namen and Roscoe for clothing and they are competitor of each other. However, the both stores want to open another one in the suburb of salem to gain some profit from the increasing population of Salem. Before evaluating the argument, three questions need to be answered to decide whether the argument is reasonable or not. Firstly, though median income has been increased, will the people of Salem is interested to pay their money in clothes? Perhaps, it might happen they want to enhance the other facilities of their lives. Or they might want to buy a new home, a fancy car or leading healthy life style with extra money. Perhaps it might happen they are not interested in clothing at all let alone fashionable. In this case, if any of these become true, the argument of Namen" s executives will surely be undermined. Secondly, do all the growing people of Salem are interested to buy clothes? Just because of the population has been increased, it does not mean they will buy more clothes. It might happen that there are other clothing shops in Salem from where they can buy their clothes. Or it might happen that they like to order their clothes from online which will eradicate their hussels to go to market. Or it can happen they do not want new clothes more often. If all of these become true, then the argument of the executives will be seriously undermined. Moreover, do all the suburbs of people are really more family oriented than other suburbs? It might happen that some of them are living on their own with their own money. Or it might happen they live separately from their family for work purposes. Their family might live in other cities or other towns. If this is the case, then the Roscoe" s executives argument will surely wear out. In conclusion, the argument where it stands now, is considerably flawed because of proper justifications and numerous number of assumptions. If the executives can answer these questions with proper explanations and reasonings they might hope for expected profits from the both clothing stores in Salem in near future.
In city of Winston, there are two large department stores named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Namen
and Roscoe for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clothing and
they are competitor of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
However
, the both stores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to open another one in the suburb of
Possible spelling mistake found.
salem
to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profit from the increasing population of Salem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
evaluating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, three questions need to
be answered
to decide whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is reasonable or not.

Firstly
, though median income has
been increased
, will the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Salem
is interested
to pay their money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
? Perhaps, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Or they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a new home, a fancy car or leading healthy life style with extra money. Perhaps it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
they are not interested in clothing at all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone fashionable.
In this case
, if any of these become true, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Namen&quot
; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
will
surely
be undermined
.

Secondly
, do all the growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Salem
are interested
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the population has
been increased
, it does not mean they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
clothing shops in Salem from where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Or it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
that they like to order their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
from online which will eradicate their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hussels
to go to market. Or it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. If all of these become true, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
will be
seriously
undermined.

Moreover
, do all the suburbs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
really
more family oriented than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
suburbs? It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money. Or it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
separately
from their family for work purposes. Their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
towns. If this is the case, then the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Roscoe&quot
; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
will
surely
wear out.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
where it stands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, is
considerably
flawed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of proper justifications and numerous number of assumptions. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
can answer these questions with proper explanations and
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
hope for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
profits from the both clothing stores in Salem in near future.
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IELTS essay The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the gr

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the gr