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Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Health is of the most important aspect of people's lives. Although, the life span has increased in recent years, many people believe that this will change in the future. I personally think that the advances in the healthcare sector around the world will result in enhancing people's lives. The world has been through massive changes over the last years some of which can deteriorate the wellbeing of humans. For instance, the industrial revolution has caused a significant rise in pollution which is causing more people to become sick. Moreover, the huge changes in the lifestyle and the pressure imposed on people in the last years have increased the number of people suffering from stress and anxiety which have been scientifically proven to directly worsen the health and make people more vulnerable and likely to suffer from different diseases. Furthermore, stress is a major factor in the rise of the number of smokers worldwide which have negatively affected health and increased the percentage of lung cancer cases. On the other hand, there are many reasons to believe that standard of health will be increasing in the upcoming years. Firstly, the significant improvement in the pharmaceutical industry and the production of innovative medicines, in addition to the advances in the surgical field have ameliorated patients' health and increased the cure rates. Another reason is that we have recently witnessed a significant increase in the number of educational and informative programs and books that provide advice and explain the importance and the methods that everyone can use to protect and enhance their health. To conclude, there are many factors that can affect the safety and wellbeing of humans especially with this rapidly evolving world. In my opinion, if humans cooperate and try to use the advances in science to their benefit, there will be a great chance that the level of health will be higher in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although, the life span has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advances in the healthcare sector around the world will result in enhancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

The world has been through massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the last years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which can deteriorate the wellbeing of humans.
For instance
, the industrial revolution has caused a significant rise in pollution which is causing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become sick.
Moreover
, the huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the lifestyle and the pressure imposed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the last years have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety which have been
scientifically
proven to
directly
worsen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more vulnerable and likely to suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is a major factor in the rise of the number of smokers worldwide which have
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
the percentage of lung cancer cases.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to believe that standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be increasing in the upcoming years.
Firstly
, the significant improvement in the pharmaceutical industry and the production of innovative medicines,
in addition
to the advances in the surgical field have ameliorated patients'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
the cure rates. Another reason is that we have recently witnessed a significant increase in the number of educational and informative programs and books that provide advice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance and the methods that everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to protect and enhance their health.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that can affect the safety and wellbeing of humans
especially
with this
rapidly
evolving world. In my opinion, if humans cooperate and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the advances in science to their benefit, there will be a great chance that the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be higher in the future.
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IELTS essay : The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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