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The amount time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

The amount time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest? k0BK
In our modern world, overweight and obesity is a big problem to solve. The amount of time spent on sports and exercise by children in school should be more to solve the problem of overweight children. In my opinion, it is one of the most effective ways to deal with this problem. I believe that children should be taught to eat a balanced diet and encouraged to be more physically active. There are a variety of different reasons that have led to overweight of children. One of the major causes is that children are consuming too much junk foods which have lead to obesity at a small age. The second reason is that children are spending more and more time indoor rather than outdoors which has caused them to be physically less active. Similarly, the way of living has changed a lot in today’s modern world while causing children, especially in urban areas to live inside houses rather than to play outside. Despite some cause described above, there are some solutions we can initiate to solve the problem of overweight in children. As mention above, one of the most fruitful solutions to this problem would be that children should spend more times at school doing exercises and playing different sports. However, it may not be that possible to increase time on exercises and sports in school due to the vast course curriculum. But on the other hand, schools can aware their students to do more exercises and play more sports while they are home. In conclusion, I believe that every effort should be made to solve the problem of overweight and obesity in children. Children are the future of the world, they should be taken care of pleasantly.
In our modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
and obesity is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, it is one of the most effective ways to deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to eat a balanced diet and encouraged to be more
physically
active.

There are a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons that have led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One of the major causes is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are consuming too much junk foods which have lead to obesity at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age. The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are spending more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
indoor
rather
than outdoors which has caused them to be
physically
less active.
Similarly
, the way of living has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world while causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
in urban areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
inside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
rather
than to play outside.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions we can initiate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As mention above, one of the most fruitful solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
would be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, it may not be that possible to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to the vast course curriculum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can aware their students to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and play more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while they are home.

In conclusion
, I believe that every effort should
be made
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
and obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the future of the world, they should
be taken
care of
pleasantly
.
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IELTS essay The amount time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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