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Do you agree or disagree that students should be required to study art and science during secondary school Explain your answer with reasons and examples

that students should be required to study art and science during secondary school Explain your answer with reasons and examples jRQ9L
This subject is usually wrangled about among individuals. It isn't easy to concur or oppose this idea with any articulation without considering the persuasive reasons for this choice. Some people may claim that it should be mandatory for the students to study art and music; others argue that it shouldn't not be compulsory for the students to have these subjects during secondary school. Personally, I think students can benefit themselves, if they study art and music during secondary school. I will mention two main reasons for my perspective in the subsequent paragraphs. First and foremost, art and music academic education enables us to broaden our carrier. Nowadays, most of the people wants to become doctor, scientists and engineer. All these fields required to have major either in science or math. There is no doubt in that because of competition and saturation students have to face a lot of predicaments for pursuing carrier in fields related to science and math. In contrast, If the student would study art and music during school, this will help the students to get job in variety of fields and they would not have to worry much after the completion of their education. My own experience is will demonstrates my point of view. During my secondary school, although my major was pharmacology, however, when I finished my education I had a hard time finding job related to my field. Luckily, I had studied music during my secondary school, I found a job in a known music band. Had I not studied music during school, I wouldn't have found that job. Therefore, it is proved from the above explanation that studying music during secondary school assist us to broaden our carrier. Secondly, music and art knowledge helps us to appreciate nature. To be more specific, without the art and music we would not come to know about the God creativity. For instance, movies and documentaries are the true picture of blend of both art and music and gives us the opportunity to enjoy the nature. As, in any movies we can see the wonderful backgrounds, because of artistic creativity and we can hear a sole relaxing songs, because of creativity of music which provide the sense to appreciate nature. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Few days ago, I had watched a romantic movie casted in beautiful area of kashmir. The songs and the background view of the film exhibited the greater view of landscape of kashmir. If I had not watched that movie, I would not have come to know the importance of music and art in our life. Hence, it is pivotal to study art and music during the course of our study. In summation, from the above mention discussion it is crystal and clear and art and science play a major role in our life and students should be required to study these subjects during school. This is because studying these subjects not only open the door for getting jobs in different fields, it also provides us an opportunity to learn about creativity through God
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
usually
wrangled about among individuals. It isn't easy to concur or oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
with any articulation without considering the persuasive reasons for this choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may claim that it should be mandatory for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
; others argue that it
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply "shouldn't"?
shouldn't not
be compulsory for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can benefit themselves, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I will mention two main reasons for my perspective in the subsequent paragraphs.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
academic education enables us to broaden our carrier. Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wants to become doctor, scientists and engineer. All these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
required to have major either in science or math. There is no doubt in that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition and saturation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
predicaments for pursuing carrier in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
related to science and math.
In contrast
, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in variety of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fields and
they would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry much after the completion of their education. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is will demonstrates my point of view. During my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, although my major was pharmacology,
however
, when I finished my education I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
related to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Luckily, I had studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
band. Had I not studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I wouldn't have found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, it
is proved
from the above explanation that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
assist us to broaden our carrier.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to appreciate nature. To be more specific, without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
we would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the God creativity.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and documentaries are the true picture of blend of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and gives us the opportunity to enjoy the nature. As, in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the wonderful backgrounds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of artistic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creativity and
we can hear a sole relaxing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "song"?
songs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of creativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which provide the sense to appreciate nature.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this. Few days ago, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a romantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "cast", the past tense form of the verb 'cast'?
casted
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
area of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kashmir
. The songs and the background view of the film exhibited the greater view of landscape of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kashmir
. If I had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, I would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in our life.
Hence
, it is pivotal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during the course of our study.

In summation, from the above mention discussion it is crystal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and science play a major role in our life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
studying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
open the door for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, it
also
provides us an opportunity to learn about creativity through
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
God
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IELTS essay that students should be required to study art and science during secondary school Explain your answer with reasons and examples

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
513 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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