Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

telling children that they will achieve anything if they try hard enough

telling children that they will achieve anything if they try hard enough 3Ekl
Telling children that they will achieve anything as long as they put in enough effort is prevalent in certain cultures. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this message. To begin with the positives, it can be such a strong motivation for children, or even just anyone who gets told that. As their parents lift their children up by saying that they can do anything regardless of their abilities, they are strongly likely to keep believing in themselves and move forward to make it. And not only will this enable them to be optimistic about their future, but it will also possibly help them gain confidence in diving into new things, in which other kids may be afraid of even trying. To illustrate, the ones who get the message that they will achieve anything with sufficient effort quite often tend to utilize the confidence that they acquired into their own personal goals such as reading everyday, losing weight, etc, so they can double their self-reliance. In contrast, there are also some possible drawbacks of giving this message. If parents constantly tell their children that they will achieve anything, the children may feel that they are under pressure and therefore it rather may be a burden to them instead of motivation. In countries like China and South Korea, some parents obstinately push their kids to study for overwhelming hours, or to become a doctor, without considering their children’s opinions at all. There’s even a term coined for this type of mom, “Tiger Mom. ” there have been a number of actual cases in which students committed suicide as a result of their parents’ coercion. The most significant problem with these parents is that they only think that they’re doing it all for the sake of their children, when in fact, it’s one kind of a child abuse. Furthermore, the degree of success that these stage parents want for their children are usually unrealistic, so it can additionally lead the children to frustration. So parents have the need to strike a healthy balance when raising children; not so strict, nor so lenient. If they truly want the best for them, then they must be aware that it’s essential to respect their children as well. In conclusion, I agree that telling children that they can achieve anything with sufficient effort can be a strong motivation for them, but it will only work if they say it in moderation. Otherwise, it will cause a number of consequences to the children, such as mental stress and pressure.
Telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
as long as they put in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
effort is prevalent in certain cultures. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this message.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, it can be such a strong motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
anyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that. As their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
lift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
up by saying that they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
regardless of their abilities, they are
strongly
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
believing in themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it. And not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will this enable them to be optimistic about their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them gain confidence in diving into new things, in which other kids may be afraid of even trying. To illustrate, the ones who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the message that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
with sufficient effort quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to utilize the confidence that they acquired into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal goals such as reading
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, losing weight, etc,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can double their self-reliance.

In contrast
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible drawbacks of giving this message. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may feel that they are under pressure and
therefore
it
rather
may be a burden to them
instead
of motivation. In countries like China and South Korea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
obstinately
push their kids to study for overwhelming hours, or to become a doctor, without considering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
opinions at all. There’s even a term coined for this type of mom, “Tiger Mom. ” there have been a number of actual cases in which students committed suicide
as a result
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
coercion. The most significant problem with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they’re doing it all for the sake of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, when in fact, it’s one
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
child abuse.
Furthermore
, the degree of success that these stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
usually
unrealistic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
additionally
lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to frustration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the need to strike a healthy balance when raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
; not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strict, nor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lenient. If they
truly
want the best for them, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware that it’s essential to respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
with sufficient effort can be a strong motivation for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work if they say it in moderation.
Otherwise
, it will cause a number of
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, such as mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay telling children that they will achieve anything if they try hard enough

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts