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TASK 3: A LETTER SUGGESTS THAT THE HEALTH CENTER SHOULD HIRE MORE DOCTORS AND REQUIRE THEM TO WORK ON WEEKENDS v.1

TASK 3: A LETTER SUGGESTS THAT THE HEALTH CENTER SHOULD HIRE MORE DOCTORS AND REQUIRE THEM TO WORK ON WEEKENDS v. 1
Some argue that it is better to stay in the same job while others support taking new challenges in life. Personally, I like change, but I will discuss both views / both opinions in the following paragraphs. People, who love, stability in life, hesitate to change their jobs, routines or lifestyle. They create a comfort zone in their workplace and do not want to come out of it. Moreover, staying in the same job for a long time allows / enables them to gain expertise in that area / field / domain. They become a source of knowledge and guidance for newcomers. They also get to establish themselves as an authority in their field. However, this prevents them from learning new skills or identifying their hidden talents. What’s more, it is possible that after a while they will get tired of doing the same things again and again. This monotony will eventually lead to boredom and they may even lose interest in their job or routines. Changing jobs and routines frequently, on the other hand, might seem daunting but it does not really have to be if one knows what one is doing. In this age of possibilities, coming out of one’s comfort zone is the only way to learn something new and explore new opportunities. While this might seem challenging, it will turn out to be a rewarding pursuit in the long run. For example, change gives a person's exposure to various fields and opportunities to find a better job or better workplace. What’s more, while executives who are resistant to change will eventually get bogged down by the monotonous nature of their work, those who embrace change are insulated from this problem. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their merits; however, in my opinion, embracing change is essential to learn new things and realize our full potential. What’s more, change makes our life exciting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that it is better to stay in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while others support taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
challenges in life.
Personally
, I like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will discuss both views / both opinions in the following paragraphs.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, stability in life, hesitate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, routines or lifestyle. They create a comfort zone in their workplace and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of it.
Moreover
, staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
/ enables them to gain expertise in that area / field / domain. They become a source of knowledge and guidance for newcomers. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to establish themselves as an authority in their field.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or identifying their hidden talents. What’s more, it is possible that after a while they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired of doing the same things again and again. This monotony will
eventually
lead to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boredom and
they may even lose interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or routines.

Changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and routines
frequently
,
on the other hand
, might seem daunting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be if one knows what one is doing. In this age of possibilities, coming out of one’s comfort zone is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities. While this might seem challenging, it will turn out to be a rewarding pursuit in the long run.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
gives a person's exposure to various fields and opportunities to find a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or better workplace. What’s more, while executives who are resistant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bogged down by the monotonous nature of their work, those who embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
are insulated
from this problem.

In conclusion
, both sides of the argument have their merits;
however
, in my opinion, embracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is essential to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and realize our full potential. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life exciting.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TASK 3: A LETTER SUGGESTS THAT THE HEALTH CENTER SHOULD HIRE MORE DOCTORS AND REQUIRE THEM TO WORK ON WEEKENDS v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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