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Task 2: In many countries, people believe secondary schools should aim to provide a general education of a range of subjects. In other countries, students focus on subjects that will be useful for future careers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 2: In many countries, people believe secondary schools should aim to provide a general education of a range of subjects. In other countries, students focus on subjects that will be useful for future careers. GwWmB
People have different views concerning the curriculum of secondary students including many various subjects, whilst some argue that students should focus on the key subjects that can boost their career prospects. Both views will be discussed in this essay and I also give my own viewpoint. On the one hand, people think it is crucial for their children to study about a range of majors, it means that students should learn about both academic subjects such as mathematics and literature and optional subjects such as cooking and the science of food. Firstly, it is true that studying various subjects will improve the survival skills of pupils when they were young and help them to avoid unhealthy habits. For example, in many cases, they may not truly know about the nutrition in their daily meals, which tend to include many junk foods that can harm them gradually. Furthermore, students who are proficient with culinary skills or communication skills will be more capable of adjusting to living on their own. On the other hand, some others believe that only focusing diligently on the key subjects will create a great employment opportunity for their children. Because academic subjects such as math and literature can provide an individual with the foundation knowledge to smoothly transit into a professional working environment. Studying math, for instance, making pupils logical thinking when they solve math problems and studying literature makes them think deeper about an issue. Moreover, the expert knowledge will help pupils easier to apply in numerous companies with high income. In conclusion, both views have their own strong argument, however, I personally feel that students should learn about various majors to improve their personalities and general education will be continued taught in the secondary syllabus.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views concerning the curriculum of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should focus on the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that can boost their career prospects. Both views will
be discussed
in this essay and I
also
give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
viewpoint.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is crucial for their children to study about a range of majors, it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn about both academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as mathematics and literature and optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as cooking and the science of food.
Firstly
, it is true that studying various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the survival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of pupils when they were young and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to avoid unhealthy habits.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, they may not
truly
know about the nutrition in their daily meals, which tend to include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
junk foods that can harm them
gradually
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are proficient with culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will be more capable of adjusting to living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing
diligently
on the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will create a great employment opportunity for their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as math and literature can provide an individual with the foundation knowledge to
smoothly
transit into a professional working environment. Studying math,
for instance
, making pupils logical thinking when they solve math problems and studying literature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deeper about an issue.
Moreover
, the expert knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils easier to apply in numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with high income.

In conclusion
, both views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strong argument,
however
, I
personally
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn about various majors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personalities and general education will
be continued
taught in the secondary syllabus.
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IELTS essay Task 2: In many countries, people believe secondary schools should aim to provide a general education of a range of subjects. In other countries, students focus on subjects that will be useful for future careers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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