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Syria and Palestine, two sides of the same coin

Syria and Palestine, two sides of the same coin awM2G
A year ago, a weak ceasefire started after the Russian-Turkish agreement, the military operations ceased and the opposition areas lived through a turbulent truce punctuated by violations. During this year many Syrians tried to recover from the war effect and live as normal people even they faced a lack of basic food resources and service till a few days ago Far away, thousands of kilometers in Alquds city, inside the Sheik Jarrah street, popular protests by hundreds of Palestinians have erupted and developed in a way reminiscent of the beginning of the Intifada in 2000. This Palestinian situation touched Syrian and affected them as they believed that the Aqsa issue is their Islamic case, and also it reminds them about their suffers in another way.
A year ago, a weak ceasefire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
after the Russian-Turkish agreement, the military operations ceased and the opposition areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
through a turbulent truce punctuated by violations.

During this year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Syrians tried to recover from the war effect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even they faced a lack of basic food resources and service till a few days ago

Far away, thousands of kilometers in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alquds
city, inside the Sheik
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jarrah
street, popular protests by hundreds of Palestinians have erupted and developed in a way reminiscent of the beginning of the Intifada in 2000.

This Palestinian situation touched Syrian and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
them as they believed that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aqsa
issue is their Islamic case, and
also
it reminds them about their suffers in another way.
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IELTS essay Syria and Palestine, two sides of the same coin

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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