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Surgery for obese patient

Surgery for obese patient XnO9g
Obesity is now recognized as one of the most serious issues and global health concerns. Because of the alarmingly rising prevalence of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and other comorbidities among obese patient, scientists have been forced to invent new ways for treating obese patient. Recently, nutritional management and undergoing surgery were two common recommendations made to patients. Many physicians believe that by following a strict diet, controlling calorie intake, exercise and changing lifestyle, obese patients can reach to standard weight. However, recent studies have shown many patients have been failed in their treatment. The most important thing in this failure is that all the plans and doctor’s suggestions are hard to follow. In the last few years, treatment failure has put obesity surgery in a spotlight as one of the treatments of choice for weight control. Nowadays, many institutes and research centers all around the world are conducting studies to develop new methods and tools for obesity surgery. Recent experiments show much better outcome in the term of weigh control. Briefly to conclude, since obesity and its related comorbidities cause many deaths and health problems during these days, choosing an effective treatment such as surgery become crucially important.
Obesity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
recognized as one of the most serious issues and global health concerns.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
alarmingly
rising prevalence of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
comorbidities
among obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
, scientists have
been forced
to invent new ways for treating obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
. Recently, nutritional management and undergoing surgery were two common recommendations made to patients.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
physicians believe that by following a strict diet, controlling calorie intake, exercise and changing lifestyle, obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
can reach to standard weight.
However
, recent studies have shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
have
been failed
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in this failure is that all the plans and doctor’s suggestions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to follow.

In the last few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
failure has put obesity surgery in a spotlight as one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
of choice for weight control. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutes and research centers all around the world are conducting studies to develop new methods and tools for obesity surgery. Recent experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
much better outcome in the term of weigh control.

Briefly
to conclude
, since obesity and its related
Possible spelling mistake found.
comorbidities
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deaths and health problems during these days, choosing an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
such as surgery become
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay Surgery for obese patient

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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