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Sports help to a greater extent to build peace in world. Do you agree or disagree? Give some examples and include relevant experiences in your response.

Sports help to a greater extent to build peace in world. Give some examples and include relevant experiences in your response. VrY8J
Opinions are divided on whether sports can promote our world’s peace or not. This essay will agree with both sides and then I think that while sports have several advantages to the inter-country relationship, there are some negative outcomes in world peace. It is obvious that international sporting events can help to create a greater understanding and association between athletes of a country and their counterparts from other nations. During competing, participants from various nations can find opportunities to learn about the other’s cultural identities and may able to share useful information not only about sport but also about different aspects. Such experiences, like the Olympic events or the FIFA Club World Cup can contribute to establish good relationships between each nation as well as their athletes, which helps a lot in gaining togetherness between global nations and therefore increasing long-lasting relationships in other aspects such as trade, importing or exporting. On the other hand, sporting events can be targeted by terrorisms and losses can be difficult for some people who loved their country. With regard to the former, it is a great potential risk to citizens as terrorists are aiming crowded places to attack. The 1972 and 1996 Olympic Games, and, more recently, marathons in Sri Lanka and the United States, are some of the tragic examples for this. As far as violence is concerned, many people cannot accept the result and then would engage violent to local shops and harm the citizens to satisfy their anger. According to research, nearly 80% percent of people being violence after a sport event are the supporters of the loss team. Consequently, this would badly affect the strong bond relationship between nations. In conclusion, we must have actions to prevent terrorisms and violence in sports events so that sports can propagate the message of peace and brother hood in the world.
Opinions
are divided
on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can promote our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
peace or not. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both sides and then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have several advantages to the inter-country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace.

It is obvious that international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create a greater understanding and association between athletes of a country and their counterparts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. During competing, participants from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can find opportunities to learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
cultural identities and
Did you mean "may be able"?
may able
to share useful information not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects. Such experiences, like the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
or the FIFA Club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup can contribute to establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
as their athletes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot in gaining togetherness between global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and
therefore
increasing long-lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects such as trade, importing or exporting.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can
be targeted
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrorisms
and losses can be difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
their country. With regard to the former, it is a great potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to citizens as terrorists are aiming crowded places to attack. The 1972 and 1996 Olympic Games, and, more recently, marathons in Sri Lanka and the United States, are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
tragic examples for this. As far as violence
is concerned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot accept the result and then would engage violent to local shops and harm the citizens to satisfy their anger. According to research,
nearly
80% percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being violence after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
are the supporters of the loss team.
Consequently
, this would
badly
affect the strong bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
between nations.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrorisms
and violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can propagate the message of peace and brother hood in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Sports help to a greater extent to build peace in world. Give some examples and include relevant experiences in your response.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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