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Spending money on improving schools and hospitals or constructing attractive or large buildings

Spending money on improving schools and hospitals or constructing attractive or large buildings 1ABKq
Some people believe that skyscrapers or large buildings are better choice for money investment but, others think that money should go to more vital public services. First, a convincing reason to construct large buildings is that, these tall buildings bring many benefits for people which allow them to access many services in one building like shopping store, super market and etc. they have chance to meet their needs without spending much time and go around the city. These building also bring income for local citizens, because they are very attractive for others. However the government must also make sure that citizens experience well-being. Spending money to improve hospitals is good way to maintaining social and political stability. If people experience lack of healthcare, they can’t work and serve their country. Last way of spending money could be related to education system. If government spends money to improve education system, people will have be educated by future years. They could also have chances to grow and improve their ability to be adapted to the society. In conclusion, i think everyone’s ideas shod be respected but, in my point of view, constructing hospitals and schools is as vital as spending money to build attractive buildings, due to the fact that all of them help economy to grow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that skyscrapers or large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are better choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
investment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should go to more vital public services.
First
, a convincing reason to construct large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is that, these tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
services in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
like shopping store, super market
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. they have chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
much time and go around the city. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
also
bring income for local citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive for others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that citizens experience well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
hospitals is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to maintaining social and political stability. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience lack of healthcare, they can’t work and serve their country. Last way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be related
to education system. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
be educated
by future years. They could
also
have chances to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability to
be adapted
to the society.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
shod
be respected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in my point of view, constructing hospitals and schools is as vital as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, due to the fact that all of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
economy to grow.
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IELTS essay Spending money on improving schools and hospitals or constructing attractive or large buildings

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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