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Constructing tall buildings or schools ant hospitals?

Constructing tall buildings or schools ant hospitals? kWl7M
Society believes that skyscrapers or large constructions are better choice for money investment, on the contrary, others think that currency should go to more vital public services. First, a convincing reason to construct big constructions is that, these tall structures bring numerous benefits for people which allow them to access a number of services in one building like shopping store, super market and etc. they have this chance to meet their needs without spending much time and go around the city. These buildings also bring income for local citizens, owing to the fact that they are extremely attractive for others. However, the government must also make sure that citizens experience well-being. Spending money to improve hospitals is a good way to maintaining social and political stability. If people experience lack of healthcare, they can’t work and serve their country. Last way of spending money could be related to education system. If government spends money to improve education system, people will have be educated by future years. They could also have chances to grow and improve their ability to be adapted to the society. In conclusion, I think everyone’s ideas shod be respected on the contrary, in my point of view, constructing hospitals and schools is as vital as spending money to build attractive buildings, due to the fact that all of them help economy to grow. Money investment on constructing tall buildings help citizens to increase their income by tourists who are attracted by these tall and gorgeous buildings, from the other point of view, when money goes on erecting schools and hospitals, beneficial point and improving well-being will become visible.
Society believes that skyscrapers or large constructions are better choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
investment,
on the contrary
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that currency should go to more vital public services.

First
, a convincing reason to construct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
constructions is that, these tall structures bring numerous benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to access a number of services in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
like shopping store, super market
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. they have this chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
much time and go around the city. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
also
bring income for local citizens, owing to the fact that they are
extremely
attractive for others.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that citizens experience well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
hospitals is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to maintaining social and political stability. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experience lack of healthcare, they can’t work and serve their country.

Last way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be related
to education system. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education system,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have
be educated
by future years. They could
also
have chances to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability to
be adapted
to the society.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
shod
be respected
on the contrary
, in my point of view, constructing hospitals and schools is as vital as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, due to the fact that all of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
economy to grow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
investment on constructing tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens to increase their income by tourists who
are attracted
by these tall and gorgeous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, from the other point of view, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
goes on erecting schools and hospitals, beneficial point and improving well-being will become visible.
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IELTS essay Constructing tall buildings or schools ant hospitals?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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