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sometimes people think that young people should encouraged to leave their family at certain age, while other think that its better for them to remain with their familiues. wht is your opinion.

family is the basic unit of society. In modern era, most of the people prefer to live separate. Some people argue that young people should stimulated to leave their family at certain age while other consider it is better for them to stay with their families. This essay will highlighted the importance of family. our guardian play a major role in our life. Parents are our strength. But now everybody has followed this trend to live alone. Now a day, everybody is busy to earn more money. This type of behaviour also effect the relationship. We should give time to our love ones. It makes our relation strong. Because family is a gift which was given by God. On the other hand, to live separate is the culture of many countries. People dwell separately because society can judge. This type of judgement also impact the mind of masses. We should remove this type of thinking in our mind. We should takecare of our parents. Also there are lot of advantages when we live with each others. We solve each problem together, also divided work we are manage everything by themselves. It is rightly said that, unity we stand divided we fall. At the end, it can be concluded that parents fulfills our basic need such as clothes, food, shelter. We should not leave our guardian at that time when they really need a help. In joint families, everybody feel comfortable because they share every problem with each other. Children also spend their leisure time on their mobile phone, we should spend a quality of time with our family. We get the feeling of security at home with family members. We get qualities such as discipline, manners, share and care, honesty etcetera from our family. In joint families everybody live together under one roof also share kitchen and many other things. Some situation in which we are going far other places for study, job or any type of work. At that time, it is necessary to go that place. But we are living permanently at this habitation. Now people adopt new things in our which give a bad impact on our behaviour. We should give time to our family members. This idea is indispensable not only the parents also to the children. When wealth is lose something is lose but when our family relation lose i think everything is lose. GOD give a beautiful life we should waste our life for this type of this which is not our basic needs. In ancient time, every people gone each other house and grated with each other sit under the shadow of tree and communicated each other. In today scenario, everybody busy with their on tools, no one interested to talk with others. Grand parents play a significant role, because they give alot of love also share own experience. I Live in joint families our sibling and cousins both play with each other also share everything, we also learn how to share things and live with love and sympathy. It is a very useful experience from me, i learned many things. I am very happy as well happiness lies in internal satisfaction, we usually do many things with each other like we separated work and at the time of trouble we stand together and solve the obstacles.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
family
is the basic unit of society. In modern era, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "stimulate"
stimulated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at certain age while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consider it is better for them to stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "highlight"
highlighted
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
our
guardian play a major role in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are our strength.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everybody has followed this trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, everybody is busy to earn more money. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
also
effect the relationship. We should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to our
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our relation strong.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a gift which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by God. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separate is the culture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
dwell
separately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
society can judge. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of judgement
also
impact the mind of masses. We should remove this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of thinking in our mind. We should
Possible spelling mistake found.
takecare
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
advantages when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. We solve each problem together,
also
divided work we are manage everything by themselves. It is
rightly
said that, unity we stand divided we fall. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fulfills our basic need such as clothes, food, shelter. We should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our guardian at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when they
really
need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. In joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
every problem with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Children
also
spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their mobile phone, we should spend a quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the feeling of security at home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
qualities such as discipline, manners,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
and care, honesty etcetera from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
everybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together under one roof
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
kitchen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
situation in which we are going far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places for study, job or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of work. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is necessary to go that place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we are living
permanently
at this habitation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adopt new things in our which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. We should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is indispensable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
to the children. When wealth is
Consider using a past participle here: "lost".
lose
something is
Consider using a past participle here: "lost".
lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everything is
Consider using a past participle here: "lost".
lose
. GOD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
life we should waste our life for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of this which is not our basic needs. In ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gone each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and grated with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sit under the shadow of tree and communicated each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
scenario, everybody busy with their on tools, no one interested to talk with others. Grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a significant role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Live
in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
our sibling and cousins both play with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
everything, we
also
learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
things and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and sympathy. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful experience from me,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy
as well
happiness lies in internal satisfaction, we
usually
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
like we separated work and at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of trouble we stand together and solve the obstacles.
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IELTS essay sometimes people think that young people should encouraged to leave their family at certain age, while other think that its better for them to remain with their familiues. wht is your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
554 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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