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some universities now offer online courses so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

some universities now offer online courses so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? PD5g
Online programs arranged by universities are becoming popular in modern society. In today's world a number of universities prepare online-based system educational on the internet in other that persons can learning online. In my view, I believe that this trend are considered beneficial educational programs in several aspects. In this essay, I will elaborate the reason to support my points of view. The first and foremost merit of online education is convenient. It means that why studying online on a majority of universities is a positive trend is that students are able to organize their own timetable which is more flexible than that part of traditional courses. In other words, they can work whenever and whenever is convenient. For example, students can work part time, engaged in social activities at day and study at night. Therefore, they finish their bachelor degrees without missing any real-life experience. Secondly, e-learning is better due to its effectiveness. For instance, it provides and transfer the data in few seconds. So the teacher and students can easily check and rectify their respective work. Take China for instance, 80% of students learn online with high grades compare to those that goes to the universities. In terms of cons, online studying will affect the human hearth. However, due to the long term use of computer it can lead to blindness because of the ray that emit from these devices. On the other hand, there is a lack of human empathy. For example, if a student is unhappy the teacher cannot feel the emotions of the students. To sum extant, online studies are costly as well because it need advance computer, laptop and iPad which are expensive devices and a normal person cannot afford to buy it and also there will be the high consumption of electricity for the usage of these devices. To conclude, this essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of online study. In summary the advantages include convenience, comfort and effectiveness. While the disadvantages include human health, lack of human empathy and high cost.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
programs arranged by universities are becoming popular in modern society. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world a number of universities prepare online-based system educational on the internet in other that persons can learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my view, I believe that this trend
are considered
beneficial educational programs in several aspects.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this essay, I will elaborate the reason to support my points of view.

The
first
and foremost merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education is convenient. It means that why studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on a majority of universities is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to organize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
timetable which is more flexible than that part of traditional courses.
In other words
, they can work whenever and whenever is convenient.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can work
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
, engaged in social activities at day and study at night.
Therefore
, they finish their bachelor degrees without missing any real-life experience.
Secondly
, e-learning is better due to its effectiveness.
For instance
, it provides and transfer the data in few seconds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the teacher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and rectify their respective work. Take China
for instance
, 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with high grades compare to those that goes to the universities.

In terms of cons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studying will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
hearth.
However
, due to the long term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer it can lead to blindness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the ray that emit from these devices.
On the other hand
, there is a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
empathy.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is unhappy the teacher cannot feel the emotions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To sum extant,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studies are costly
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "needs"?
need
advance computer, laptop and iPad which are expensive devices and a normal person cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it and
also
there will be the high consumption of electricity for the usage of these devices.

To conclude
, this essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study. In summary the advantages include convenience, comfort and effectiveness. While the disadvantages include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
empathy and high cost.
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IELTS essay some universities now offer online courses so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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