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Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?

Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem? g55og
In this day and age of technology, playing video games has become more common than doing physical sports among students. This essay will explain the reasons for choosing computer games over sports and provide a solution to cope with this issue. One of the main reasons young children spend most of their time playing online games is because it requires less effort and resources in comparison to physical sports. For instance, most sports need to be played in a specific place like a ground or a stadium and it has to be played with a group of people whereas computer games can be played with just a computer and an internet connection at the comfort of your own home. Another reason could be that the computer games are more fun and creative. In other words, there are certain games which are designed in such a way that make you visualize living the life of the main protagonist in the game. This means that youngsters get to play a role of variety of characters such as soldier, gangster and experience their lives. A plausible solution to this problem could be to introduce physical classes in schools. This is to say, schools should not only make it mandatory for students to participate in sports but also inform them about the benefits of doing sports. As a result, more students will start to get involved in physical activities instead of spending their time playing video games. To provide an example, recent study conducted by some researches showed that children who do sports with their friends in school are less likely to get addicted to computer games. To sum up, some children play more video games instead of outdoor activities because it can be more fun and requires less resources. This issue can be tackled by ensuring that children are encouraged and provided the resources to do sports in school.
In this day and age of technology, playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has become more common than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
among students. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for choosing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and provide a solution to cope with this issue.

One of the main reasons young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time playing online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires less effort and resources
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
need to
be played
in a specific place like a ground or a stadium and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be played
with a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whereas computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
be played
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a computer and an internet connection at the comfort of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. Another reason could be that the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more fun and creative.
In other words
, there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which
are designed
in such a way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you visualize living the life of the main protagonist in the game. This means that youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to play a role of variety of characters such as soldier, gangster and experience their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

A plausible solution to this problem could be to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This is to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory for students to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
inform them about the benefits of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
As a result
, more students will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities
instead
of spending their time playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. To provide an example, recent study conducted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with their friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to computer games.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play more video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
instead
of outdoor activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be more fun and requires less resources. This issue can
be tackled
by ensuring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are encouraged
and provided the resources to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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