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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion 2bbpo
Many people think that the loss of particular plants and animal species is the major environmental problem that humans are facing nowadays, while others believe that some environmental issues are more alarming. I agree with the latter view and will analyse both views in the following essay. On the one hand, the loss of animal and plant species is considered as a main environmental problem because of its impact on our planet’s biodiversity. Around the world, trees are being cut down for industrial and agriculture purposes. As a result, there will not be enough trees to produce oxygen for humans and prevent the soil from washing away. Meanwhile, endangered animals are being poached to serve people’s needs, hence negatively affecting the whole ecosystem. For example, when sharks are killed for their fins, many types of aquatic species no longer have their natural predators to control their population. Consequently, the disappearance of predators disrupts the natural food chain and then leads to unbalanced underwater ecosystems. On the other hand, there are more urgent environmental issues that exist aside the loss of plant and animal species. Those problems including pollution and climate change are the main factors that cause the loss of biodiversity and put the natural habitat on the brink of destruction. Water and soil pollution caused by industrial and agricultural activities are poisoning a large number of species of marine and land animals, which means that human health is also negatively affected as those animals are humans’ important food source. Moreover, changing weather patterns caused by climate change lead to more frequent occurrences of natural disasters such as droughts, floods and wildfires. In conclusion, it is true that the loss of particular plants and animals should be paid great attention to, but other environmental issues should also be taken into consideration. I think we should put a great deal of effort into tackling all of those problems rather than only focusing on the animals and plants’ extinction
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Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species is the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are facing nowadays, while others believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are more alarming. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view and will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both views in the following essay.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species
is considered
as a main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its impact on our planet’s biodiversity. Around the world, trees are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down for industrial and agriculture purposes.
As a result
, there will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
trees to produce oxygen for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the soil from washing away. Meanwhile, endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being poached
to serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s needs,
hence
negatively
affecting the whole ecosystem.
For example
, when sharks
are killed
for their fins,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of aquatic species no longer have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
predators to control their population.
Consequently
, the disappearance of predators disrupts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
food chain and then leads to unbalanced underwater ecosystems.

On the other hand
, there are more urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues that exist aside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are the main factors that cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of biodiversity and put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat on the brink of destruction. Water and soil pollution caused by industrial and agricultural activities are poisoning
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
species of marine and land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health is
also
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
food source.
Moreover
, changing weather patterns caused by climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
lead to more frequent occurrences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disasters such as droughts, floods and wildfires.

In conclusion
, it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be paid
great attention to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues should
also
be taken
into consideration. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should put a great deal of effort into tackling all of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants’
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
extinction
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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