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international tourism has become a huge industry in the world.some people think that the problems caused by internationaltourism outweigh the benefits.to what extant to you agree or disagree?

In recent days, due to an advancement on the ways of transportation and the absence of strict borders that facilitate the interaction between population, a growing number of travellers are taking the opportunity to discover the entire world. Althought these experience could result in an enrichment of one’s culture, the negative aspects that international travel can have especially on local populations need to be considered. In my opinion, I believe that overseas travelling can bring about more advantages compared to any disadvantages it might cause. Admittedly, various are the advantages that travelling abroad can have. Firstly, from the point of view of travellers it can result in the aquisitition of some skills that only a globetrottering person can have such as an improvement in the communication with other cultures, the opportunity of open one’s mind, a tendency to accept the risk and the unknown. Secondly, it is beneficial even for the populations that host foreign travellers, especially for undeveloped countries where tourism is the only source of sustainement in absence of other businesses. On the other hand, despite the advantages mentioned above, an excess of international travel can have some drawbaks. One potential problem is the negative impact that it can have on the environment. For instance, long distance flights or cargos are the most harmful ways of trasport due to the high amount of emissions that they produced. Moreover, in some countries, travellers are disrespectful againts the environment or the foreign culture and its attractions. A recent example that need to be considered, is the decision of the Australian government to not allow the climbing of Uluru, the symbol of the Aboriginal culture. In conclusion, despite the fact that international travel can impacts negatively on the environment and local populations, the experience that foreign travellers can gain and the profit that local communities can obtain are far more significant that the disadvantages it presents.
In recent days, due to an advancement on

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
ways of transportation and the absence of strict borders that facilitate the interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, a growing number of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
are taking the opportunity to discover the entire world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althought


these experience

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
could
result in an enrichment of one’s culture, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects that international travel can have
especially
on local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
need to
be considered
. In my opinion, I believe that overseas travelling can bring about more advantages compared to any disadvantages it might cause.

Admittedly
, various are the advantages that travelling abroad can have.
Firstly
, from the point of view of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
it can result in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquisitition


of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
globetrottering


person can have such

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
as
an improvement in the communication with other cultures, the opportunity of open one’s mind, a tendency to accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and the unknown.
Secondly
, it is beneficial even for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
that host foreign
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
,
especially
for

undeveloped countries where tourism is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainement


in absence

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
of
other businesses.

On the other hand
, despite the advantages mentioned above, an excess of international travel can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
drawbaks
. One potential problem is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact that it can have on the environment.
For instance
, long distance flights or cargos are the most harmful ways of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
trasport


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
due
to the high amount of emissions that they produced.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
are disrespectful
Possible spelling mistake found.
againts


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
environment or the foreign culture and its attractions. A recent example that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
need


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
be considered
, is the decision of the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the climbing of Uluru, the symbol of the Aboriginal culture.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that international travel can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
impacts


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
negatively
on the environment and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
, the experience that foreign
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
can gain and the profit that local communities can obtain are far more significant that the disadvantages it presents.
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IELTS essay international tourism has become a huge industry in the world. some people think that the problems caused by internationaltourism outweigh the benefits. to what extant to you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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