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SOME SAY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MARR FOR LOVE; OTHERS SAY THAT IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLLD IT IS WISER TO MARRY FOR MONEY. DISCUSS BOTH POINTS OF VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

SOME SAY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MARR FOR LOVE; OTHERS SAY THAT IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLLD IT IS WISER TO MARRY FOR MONEY. d7kp
Everyone desires to have a perfect partner for a happy life. Some people prefer to marry a person they are in love with, due to prior understanding and sentimental attachment. While others go for a wealthy spouse, ignoring the temporary pleasure of wealth and ever-growing greed. I strongly support the value of love for a life-long companionship. First of all, by marrying one’s beloved person lets a person live with whom one has already developed a certain level of understanding. It becomes quite easy to assimilate in a new family setup when a person knows his spouse. For example, awareness of eating habits of husband helps his wife modifying her cooking style. That is why, choosing love for wedlock gives ease of mutual understanding to the couple. Secondly, loving partners have their sentiments attached to each other which develops a long term relationship based on respect and care. For example, presenting flower to one’s wife is the true depiction of deep emotional connection. For such reasons, love becomes the first choice for several people for their wedding. On the other hand, marrying someone because of one’s wealth merely gives temporary satisfaction. The reason is maintaining a certain level of richness is not in an individual’s hands and ups and downs are mandatory. For instance, bearing a huge business loss can disturb one’s relationship if based on money. Due to this reason, money-based wedding is nothing more than a short term happiness. Similarly, avarice is an ever-growing phenomenon. More and more demands cannot always be gratified by a partner that ultimately weakens a materialistic relationship. Owing to such reasons, affluence should never be the first priority for matrimony. To conclude, some people value prior understanding and emotional attachment, supporting love to make marriage decisions. On the contrary, some prioritize money, forgetting the ephemeral contentment and never-stopping desires. In my opinion, love should always be the top preference to attain long and healthy relationship.
Everyone desires to have a perfect partner for a happy life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to marry a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
with, due to prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
and sentimental attachment. While others go for a wealthy spouse, ignoring the temporary pleasure of wealth and ever-growing greed. I
strongly
support the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for a life-long companionship.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by marrying one’s beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with whom one has already developed a certain level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
. It becomes quite easy to assimilate in a new family setup when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
knows his spouse.
For example
, awareness of eating habits of husband
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
his wife modifying her cooking style.
That is
why, choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for wedlock gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
to the couple.

Secondly
, loving partners have their sentiments attached to each other which develops a long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
based on respect and care.
For example
, presenting flower to one’s wife is the true depiction of deep emotional connection. For such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
becomes the
first
choice for several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their wedding.

On the other hand
, marrying someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of one’s wealth
merely
gives temporary satisfaction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is maintaining a certain level of richness is not in an individual’s hands and ups and downs are mandatory.
For instance
, bearing a huge business loss can disturb one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
if based on money. Due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, money-based wedding is nothing more than a short term happiness.

Similarly
, avarice is an ever-growing phenomenon. More and more demands cannot always
be gratified
by a partner that
ultimately
weakens a materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. Owing to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, affluence should never be the
first
priority for matrimony.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
value prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
and emotional attachment, supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
marriage decisions.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prioritize money, forgetting the ephemeral contentment and never-stopping desires. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
should always be the top preference to attain long and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
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IELTS essay SOME SAY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MARR FOR LOVE; OTHERS SAY THAT IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLLD IT IS WISER TO MARRY FOR MONEY.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • SOME SAY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MARR FOR LOVE; OTHERS SAY THAT IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLLD IT IS WISER TO MARRY FOR MONEY. DISCUSS BOTH POINTS OF VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.