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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. kw5W
Few topics have drawn as much scholarly attention as increasing retirement age with an increase in life expectancy rate, especially in the past few decades. Although there is substantial debate over whether the retirement age should be increased for people who live longer or vice versa, I am of the opinion that the former preposition has several strong elements that deserve attention. A number of benefits can be attributed to the increase in retirement age. On one hand, by giving them opportunity to work more than the retire age empowers people to be financially independent and reduces the burden of government and society to meet after the retirement expenses of aged people. On the other, with increasing retirement age not only can organization take advantage of expertise knowledge and skills of senior employees to impart training to the newcomers, but it can also help to adopt decent strategies from their specialisation to enhance the productivity. There is no doubt that all these merits of increasing the retirement age will hold senior people in good stead as far as their invaluable experience is concerned. For example, experience of senior doctors, managers and lawyers is much needed in complexed situations where youngsters seek guidance of experts and highly skilled persons. Admittedly it is true that an increase in retirement age will lessen the job opportunities for youngsters who are highly creative and have technical skills and risk-taking qualities and one cannot dismiss the deleterious effects associated with it. However, these drawbacks appear to be insignificant against the deluge of benefits that increase in retirement age at workplace offers. In conclusion, I would not wish to underestimate the concerns regarding the retirement age at workplace. Nevertheless, I feel that the role of increase in the employment tenure for senior people in becoming more self-dependent at old age is an instrumental indeed.
Few topics have drawn as much
scholarly
attention as increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in life expectancy rate,
especially
in the past few decades. Although there is substantial debate over whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should
be increased
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer or vice versa, I am of the opinion that the former preposition has several strong elements that deserve attention.

A number of benefits can
be attributed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. On one hand, by giving them opportunity to work more than
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'retire' is correct. If 'retire' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the retire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
empowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
financially
independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the burden of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
expenses of aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. On the other, with increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can organization take advantage of expertise knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
employees to impart training to the newcomers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to adopt decent strategies from their
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisation' is British English.
specialisation
to enhance the productivity. There is no doubt that all these merits of increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead as far as their invaluable experience
is concerned
.
For example
, experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
doctors, managers and lawyers is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
complexed
situations where youngsters seek guidance of experts and
highly
skilled persons.

Admittedly
it is true that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will lessen the job opportunities for youngsters who are
highly
creative and have technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-taking qualities and one cannot dismiss the deleterious effects associated with it.
However
, these drawbacks appear to be insignificant against the deluge of benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at workplace offers.

In conclusion
, I would not wish to underestimate the concerns regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at workplace.
Nevertheless
, I feel that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the employment tenure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in becoming more self-dependent at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an instrumental
indeed
.
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IELTS essay Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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