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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably

Every human who are exposed to work irrespective of ages will one day experience the term "Retirement". Some people believe that the actual age criteria should be increased relatively because more number of people are having a longer lifetime. This essay will argue why retirement age must be raised significantly believing the fact that people live for more number of years. In this modern age, some category of people are willing to have a retirement at a nominal early age where they could relax and spend their retirement life with their family member added that they are much concerned about their health and do not will to work further provided that they have enough money to live on their own. For example, after the retirement most of the people wish to go for a world tour to visit many such exquisite places and have a glimpse of satisfaction and completeness. On the other hand, people are in great search of employment having a demand on job opportunities. Generally people have a thought that they are having a longer lifetime and believe that getting retired in a particular age does not suit their daily basis of living. Nowadays, standard of living has been increased where people could not easily afford to any basic things. For instance, according to the results of the survey conducted by a research university states that there are more number of middle class families who wanted to work more and getting retired at a specific age do not meet their daily living criteria because of the current standard of life. So, increasing the age of the retirement of an individual will not only help people to live according to the standard basis but also provides some peace in general. This essay argued that people are in need to have a rise in retiring age in order to cope up with their day to day activities. In my opinion, it is not good to waste one's motive to work and serve and I believe by adding the age of retirement would act as an helping hand for living in this current generation.
Every human who
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
will one day experience the term
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
Retirement
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
criteria should
be increased
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having a longer lifetime. This essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be raised
significantly
believing the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for more number of years.

In this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
at a nominal early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
where they could relax and spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
life with their family member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
that they are much concerned about their health and do not will to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
further
provided that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish to go for a world tour to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such exquisite places and have a glimpse of satisfaction and completeness.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in great search of employment having a demand on job opportunities.
Generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they are having a longer lifetime and believe that getting retired in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
does not suit their daily basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. Nowadays, standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
has
been increased
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
easily
afford to any basic things.
For instance
, according to the results of the survey conducted by a research university states that there are more number of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families who wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more and getting retired at a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
criteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
standard of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
of an individual will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
according to the standard basis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peace
in general
.

This essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in need to have a rise in retiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in order to cope up with their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities. In my opinion, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to waste one's motive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
serve and
I believe by adding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
would act as
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
helping hand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
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IELTS essay Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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