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Some people use technology for taking advice related to medical problems rather than going to doctor . Why is this so ? What do you think it is positive or negative development .

Some people use technology for taking advice related to medical problems rather than going to doctor. Why is this so? What do you think it is positive or negative development. BaydX
In this cutting - edge era, it is argued by some masses thar due to advancement of technology. Most of people are using internet for taking advise regarding to medical problems instead of going to doctor. It has some reasons and according to me, this is negative development because it puts adverse implications on doctor's career. On the one hand, there are some predominant causes that prove why people take advise from online way related to health problems. First and foremost is that when masses go to doctor for treatment then they get more monetary fund from their patients but when they take advise from internet that time it provides free information to them regarding health problems. Therefore, networking is worthwhile for getting advice. Additionally, if individuals are using internet for health problems that time they can save their time as a reason, when they go hospital then they do waste their time on appointment. On the other hand, some prominent points that show using internet for medical hardships is regressive growth. Chiefly, online system provides only enlightenment about medical treatment; however, doctors can do proper treatment of every diseases alongwith doctors gives medicine according to person's ability. Thus, this way is not accurate for people's health. Moreover, it puts bad impact on doctors careere as well as it increase the unemployed among doctors. To recapitulate, it is apparent that aforementioned points show that it has some reasons and this is negative development because it is worthless for doctor's career.
In this cutting
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
edge era, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "masses'" or "mass's", "masse's"?
masses
Possible spelling mistake found.
thar
due to advancement of technology. Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using internet for taking advise
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and according to me, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it puts adverse implications on doctor's career. On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
predominant causes that prove why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take advise from online way related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
First
and foremost is that when masses go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
for treatment then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more monetary fund from their patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they take advise from internet that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it provides free information to them regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, networking is worthwhile for getting advice.
Additionally
, if individuals are using internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they can save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as a reason, when they go hospital then they do waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on appointment.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prominent points that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
using internet for medical hardships is regressive growth.
Chiefly
, online system provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enlightenment about medical treatment;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
can do proper treatment of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "disease"?
diseases
Possible spelling mistake found.
alongwith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
gives medicine according to person's ability.
Thus
, this way is not accurate for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, it puts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
Possible spelling mistake found.
careere
as well
as it increase the unemployed among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
. To recapitulate, it is apparent that aforementioned points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is worthless for doctor's career.
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IELTS essay Some people use technology for taking advice related to medical problems rather than going to doctor. Why is this so? What do you think it is positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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