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Some people today believe that the world’s population increase is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the world’s economy and society.h

In the modern era, the world population is growing day by day. This rapid growth of the population can cause a serious problem in the world economy, but some people think that the more population will help to build the economy. In my upcoming piece of writing, I will describe my points in more detail. To start with, there will lots of problem is created due to large population in wolrd. Firstly, there are less jobs as well as more unemployment. One of the reasons for this is more competition raises due to lots of people are aligning for the jobs. For instance, the governments advertisement a clerks job for 50m peoples, but they recieve more application than required. Further, there will more natural resources will be expended or need to meets to needs of all. For example gas, fuel, water, etc. Due to there will be more shortages of these items. on the other hand, some countries need manpower to sustain their economy. The more skilled people to complete all the works. for example, a country like Canada which has less population needs more skilled people to boosts their economy power or maintain them. But they can cover this by immigration method. To conclude this, I would like to say that more population is more problem, because there will be less advancement as well as global crises. So, it should be in balance. So that everybody got more opporunity.
In the modern era, the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is growing day by day. This rapid growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can cause a serious problem in the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In my upcoming piece of writing, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
my points in more detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there will
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: “lots of problems”.
lots of problem
is created
due to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
wolrd
.
Firstly
, there are
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun jobs is countable.
less
jobs
as well
as more unemployment. One of the reasons for this is more competition raises due to lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aligning for the jobs.
For instance
, the
An apostrophe may be missing.
governments
advertisement a clerks job for 50m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
more application than required.
Further
, there will more natural resources will
be expended
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “meet”.
meets
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of all.
For example
gas, fuel, water, etc. Due to there will be more shortages of these items.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
manpower to sustain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. The more skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to complete all the works.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example, a country like Canada which has less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to boosts their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
power or maintain them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they can cover this by immigration method.
To conclude
this, I would like to say that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is more problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be less advancement
as well
as global crises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should be in balance.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
opporunity
.
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IELTS essay Some people today believe that the world’s population increase is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the world’s economy and society. h

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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