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Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Technology has made the life of a layman easy. So, investing more in technology for space exploration is unreasonable as there are other areas that need financial assistance such as the educational sector, health sector and to name but a few. So, I completely disagree that utilizing money on space exploration is reasonable. At the outset, the education sector needs more monetary help. Some schools are unable to purchase equipment that is used while performing various experiments. So, students only get theoretical knowledge and remain deprived of getting practical knowledge due to a lack of gadgets or apparatus. For example, public schools often face such kinds of situations. Due to lack of funds, these schools focus more on theory, and practical work is left untouched. In my perspective, it is a great disadvantage for the students and they will have less interest in searching for new things and their curiosity will kill. So, what’s the use of expending more on searching outer space, if in the foreseeable future it would not be able to fascinate the interested minds due to their lack of interest in it? Moving further, good health is also vital for people. People either belong to developed nations or developing ones are experiencing health issues namely they suffer from fatal diseases and are not getting good treatment due to its expansive nature. So, it would be wise to provide sufficient aid to the hospitals so that they can render their services. The quintessential of it can be seen in today’s era. People all over the world are dying due to covid-19 and are not treating well in developing countries particularly in government hospitals. The rich are treated well, but the poor are neglected. So, instead of spending it on outer space, it would be beneficial to give financial help to hospitals for drugs, equipment, and research so that humanity can be saved if epidemic diseases occur. In conclusion, it would be plausible to expend more on health, education instead of spending on outer space. If people of a nation are experiencing abject poverty and are not educated, all the inventions are failed. So, exploration of life on other planets is a useless effort, if a country’s own natives are dying due to getting no financial aid from its rulers.
Technology has made the life of a layman easy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, investing more in technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is unreasonable as there are other areas that need financial assistance such as the educational sector,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector and to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I completely disagree that utilizing money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is reasonable. At the outset, the education sector needs more monetary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
schools are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
equipment
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while performing various experiments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
theoretical knowledge and remain deprived of getting practical knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to a lack of gadgets or apparatus.
For example
, public schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face such kinds of situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to lack of funds, these schools focus more on theory, and practical work is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
untouched. In my perspective, it is a great disadvantage for the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they will have less interest in searching for new things and their curiosity will kill.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what’s the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of expending more on searching outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, if in the foreseeable future it would not be able to fascinate the interested minds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their lack of interest in it?

Moving
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
also
vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
either belong to developed nations or developing ones are experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
namely
they suffer from fatal diseases and are not getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its expansive nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be wise to provide sufficient aid to the hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can render their services. The
The phrase ‘The quintessential of’ is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between ‘The’ and ‘of’.
quintessential
of it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
all over the world are dying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
and are not treating well in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
particularly
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospitals. The rich
are treated
well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the poor
are neglected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
instead
of spending it on outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, it would be beneficial to give financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to hospitals for drugs, equipment, and
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that humanity can
be saved
if epidemic diseases occur.

In conclusion
, it would be plausible to expend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education
instead
of spending on outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a nation are experiencing abject poverty and are not educated, all the inventions
are failed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, exploration of life on other planets is a useless effort, if a country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
natives are dying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to getting no financial aid from its rulers.
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IELTS essay Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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