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Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. 3j1m
Today we do not belong to a big planet Earth. We are part of a global village. This has lead to a greater need for international cooperation in many crucial issues such as poverty, starvation, environmental protection, terrorism and global warming. Some individuals are of the opinion that the main benefit of global cooperation has been in protection of the environment, but others hold the view that the main benefit is in international trade. In this essay I intend to delve into both views and finally give my opinion. International cooperation does contribute a lot in environmental protection. First of all many governments have realized that it is a grave issue and have taken steps to aware the masses of the simple steps they can take to save the environment. Then, the Kyoto agreement was signed by many countries in the United Nations Charter that they would not set up any industry which would emit more than 5. 2% carbon dioxide. The role international cooperation in world business is self evident. Today, we can buy any foreign brand like Reebok and Nike in our country and our Indian brands like Videocon have touched the international market. This has brought the economy of developing countries quite close to the developed ones. In my opinion, although a lot has been done in both areas, a lot more needs to be done in the field of environment. The steps already taken are not enough and the governments need to tackle this issue on a war-footing. The rate at which global warming is occurring will transform the whole Earth into a boiling pot one day and leave it un-inhabitable. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, International co-operation has benefited the world business much more than the environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we do not belong to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
planet Earth. We are part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
village. This has lead to a greater need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial issues such as poverty, starvation, environmental protection, terrorism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that the main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
has been in protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others hold the view that the main benefit is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
trade. In this essay I intend to delve into both views and
finally
give my opinion.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
does contribute a lot in environmental protection.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have realized that it is a grave issue and have taken steps to aware the masses of the simple steps they can take to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Then, the Kyoto agreement
was signed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the United Nations Charter that they would not set up any industry which would emit more than 5. 2% carbon dioxide.

The role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
in world business is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self evident
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any foreign brand like Reebok and Nike in our country and our Indian brands like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Videocon
have touched the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
market. This has brought the economy of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
quite close to the developed ones.

In my opinion, although a lot has
been done
in both areas, a lot more needs to
be done
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The steps already taken are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to tackle this issue on a war-footing. The rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming is occurring will transform the whole Earth into a boiling pot one day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-inhabitable
.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
co-operation has benefited the world business much more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
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IELTS essay Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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