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Some people think that young people should follow social traditions. Others think that they should be free to have their own way of living and behaving. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

Some people think that young people should follow social traditions. Others think that they should be free to have their own way of living and behaving. Rdnp
People have different views on how young people should adhere to national customs. While some people think that youngsters should be allowed to live and behave by themselves, I agree with those who believe that social traditions ought to be followed by the younger generation for several reasons. On the one hand, some people argue that young generation should freely behave and live their own way. In the globalization era, some young people might recognize that there are some inhuman festivals of social tradition such as buffalo fighting festival. Take Do Son buffalo fighting as an example, people force two buffalo to fight each other, and the winning buffalo will be killed in the ceremony. In fact, no matter if buffalo win or lose, they will still be killed by people. It might be an immoral festival, because it dispossesses animals right from buffalo. On the other hand, I completely agree with the former opinion because of two main grounds for youngsters to follow social traditions. Firstly, tradition contributes a sense of belonging and reuniting. For example, on Tet holiday which is one of the traditional aspects of Vietnamese, people reunite to where they belong to which is family, and they can together cook square glutinous rice cake and wait for the new year’s eve. Secondly, tradition reinforces education values such as gratefulness. To be more specific, Hung king’s festival which is a Vietnamese festival which is held annually in order to express gratitude to 18 Hung kings and ancestors of Vietnamese. In conclusion, although social traditions have negative aspects that should not be come after by the young generation, I strongly believe that youngsters ought to follow social tradition because of its values.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
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different
views on how
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adhere to national customs. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that youngsters should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and behave by themselves, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
ought to
be followed
by the younger generation for several reasons.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
argue that
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young
generation should
freely
behave and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. In the globalization era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might recognize that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inhuman
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festivals
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
such as buffalo fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
. Take Do Son buffalo fighting as an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
force two buffalo to fight each other, and the winning buffalo will
be killed
in the ceremony. In fact, no matter if buffalo win or lose, they will
still
be killed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It might be an immoral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it dispossesses animals right from buffalo.

On the other hand
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main grounds for youngsters to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
contributes a sense of belonging and reuniting.
For example
, on Tet holiday which is one of the traditional aspects of Vietnamese,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reunite to where they belong to which is family, and they can together cook square glutinous rice cake and wait for the
Capitalize holidays.
new year’s eve
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
reinforces education values such as gratefulness. To be more specific, Hung king’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
which is a Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
which
is held
annually
in order to express gratitude to 18 Hung kings and ancestors of Vietnamese.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects that should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation, I
strongly
believe that youngsters ought to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its values.
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IELTS essay Some people think that young people should follow social traditions. Others think that they should be free to have their own way of living and behaving.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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