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Some people think that to produce a happier society is to ensure that there is only a small difference on the earnings of the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are people who believe that a happier nation is evaluated by a short gap of the income between the richest and the poorest people, but I do not agree with this point of view. I think that there are other factors contribute to the level of happiness of a society. To begin with, people would be happier if their needs met, especially in health care, education, infrastructure, and entertainment. Such essential needs are provided by the government, thereby the authority should be the one manages and has a fair system to use the income taxes received equally. Taxes, on the other hand, are contributed by the rich and the poor people, therefore a good tax system would help to reduce the gap and would make the community happier. For example, the wealthiest people would pay higher tax and the least poverty classes pay less amount. And, the government should use that money to pay back for the benefits of the whole nation by giving free access to healthcare, education or entertainment. On the other hand, shortening the gap of the income between the rich and the poor is not a good strategy because it could not make the world strive for a better. Firstly, if everyone gets the same amount of what they work for, no one wants to work harder and thinks differently. As a result, the country could not develop well because everyone has the same standards. Besides, people become lazier and more laid-back and that would not make people happier. In conclusion, I think the government plays a vital role in controlling the public money and helps society become happier by enhancing local tangibles, not by cutting the salaries between the richest and the pooriest.
There are
people
who believe that a
happier
nation
is evaluated
by a short gap of the income between the richest and the poorest
people
,
but
I do not
agree
with this point of view. I
think
that there are other factors contribute to the level of happiness of a society.

To
begin
with,
people
would be
happier
if their needs met,
especially
in health care, education, infrastructure, and entertainment. Such essential needs
are provided
by the
government
, thereby the authority should be the one manages and has a
fair
system to
use
the income
taxes
received
equally
.
Taxes
,
on the other hand
,
are contributed
by the rich and the poor
people
,
therefore
a
good
tax
system would
help
to
reduce
the gap and would
make
the community
happier
.
For example
, the wealthiest
people
would pay higher
tax
and the least poverty classes pay less amount. And, the
government
should
use
that money to pay back for the benefits of the whole nation by giving free access to healthcare, education or entertainment.

On the other hand
, shortening the gap of the income between the rich and the poor is not a
good
strategy
because
it could not
make
the world strive for a better.
Firstly
, if everyone
gets
the same amount of what they work for, no one wants to work harder and
thinks
differently
.
As a result
, the country could not develop well
because
everyone has the same standards.
Besides
,
people
become lazier and more laid-back and that would not
make
people
happier.

In conclusion
, I
think
the
government
plays a vital role in controlling the public money and
helps
society become
happier
by enhancing local tangibles, not by cutting the salaries between the richest and the
pooriest
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that to produce a happier society is to ensure that there is only a small difference on the earnings of the richest and the poorest members.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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