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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Everyone has their own unique thoughts that usually think that most essential about being wealthy is to provide chances to other folks to help them get through their problems. I totally agree with this opinion. This essay will illustrates the reasons why i really support such an idea. To begin with, assisting one another financially, expecially if they were poor, is one of our major obligatories in islam Where every certain amount of time, we should exclude a certain proportion of our money for those who need any funds. For example, my driver has four kids including two daughters who are expected to be married on the same day in the beginning of february. Such preparations require alot of money to cover the expenses of this day. So if you ask me, i believe that giving him money will help him get through this obtsacle and so, humanity is achieved with extreme simplicity. Moreover, solution is to work on oneself to be humble financially as much as you can to be able to let go of your pounds easier. In addition that we all experience a lot of ups and downs, so if i help others solving their porblems, i will be survived in any critical condition that exceeds my current money status. For example, my niece is living a moderate standard life that cover its daily requirments. However, her son got her neck broken and needed to perform an immediate operation that costs 100, 000 pounds. I strongly believe that not helping here in this sitiuation is considered to be as an ethical crime. It is faire to conclude that being rich is one of the keys to open humanity treasures where our religen forces us to do as such. Not only this but remember that giving hands to others in their needs will be repayed somehow in the days to come.
Everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique thoughts that
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that most essential about being wealthy is to provide chances to other folks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through their problems. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. This essay will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
illustrates
the reasons why
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
really
support such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, assisting one another
financially
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
expecially
if they were poor, is one of our major
Possible spelling mistake found.
obligatories
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
islam
Where every certain amount of time, we should exclude a certain proportion of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for those who need any funds.
For example
, my driver has four kids including two daughters who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be married
on the same day in the beginning of
Possible spelling mistake found.
february
. Such preparations require
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover the expenses of this day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if you ask me,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that giving him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through this
Possible spelling mistake found.
obtsacle
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, humanity
is achieved
with extreme simplicity.
Moreover
, solution is to work on oneself to be humble
financially
as much as you can to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go of your pounds easier.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
that we all experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ups and downs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others solving their
Possible spelling mistake found.
porblems
,
Did you mean “I”?
i
will
be survived
in any critical condition that exceeds my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
status.
For example
, my niece is living a moderate standard life that cover its daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
requirments
.
However
, her son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
her neck broken and needed to perform an immediate operation that costs 100, 000 pounds. I
strongly
believe that not helping here in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
sitiuation
is considered
to be as an ethical crime.

It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
faire
to conclude
that being rich is one of the keys to open humanity treasures where our
Possible spelling mistake found.
religen
forces us to do as such. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
remember that giving hands to others in their needs will be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “repaid”, the past tense form of the verb ‘repay’?
repayed
somehow in the days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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