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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is believed that being wealthy plays a vital role in creating chances to aid other people. Personally, I agree with that as i think that rich people can contribute some of their money for charity and finding jobs for the unemployed people. To begin with, I believe that rich people can spare some their finances in order to grant them to charity organizations. The more financial support charity instituitions recieve, the more they can help needy people. For example, in my country there is a prospering organization that is aiding alot of poor local people all that due to the fact that it is supported financially from a rich politician. In addition to that, more rich people will be encouraged to donate their money for charity as they see others from their leveI do the same. Moreover, another reason to why i concur with the idea that rich people have the chance to help other is that because they can solve the unemployement problem. In other words, wealthy people could invest their money in certain projects and for that there will be a need for new employees. In this way, new graduates could find jobs more easliy. Also, uncertified people could apply to maybe the simplest jobs in the new company like a janitor. For instance, looking at the companies in my country alot of them are owned by the same rich people and more enterprises are being developed with time. Due to this, the unemployement rate in my country is gradually decreasing. To conclude, it is clear that being wealthy offer the chance to assist other via engaging in charities and opening the way for new jobs to be erected.
It
is believed
that being wealthy plays a vital role in creating chances to aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that as
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
and finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for the unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spare
A determiner cannot be combined with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply “some” or “their”?
some their
finances in order to grant them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organizations. The more financial support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
Possible spelling mistake found.
instituitions
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
, the more they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, in my country there is a prospering organization
that is
aiding
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of poor local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all that due to the fact that it
is supported
financially
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
politician.
In addition
to that, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to donate their money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
others from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
leveI
do the same.

Moreover
, another reason to why
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can solve the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployement
problem. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could invest their money in certain projects and for that there will be a need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employees. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates could find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
easliy
.
Also
, uncertified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could apply to maybe the simplest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
like a janitor.
For instance
, looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in my country
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and more enterprises are
being developed
with time. Due to this, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployement
rate in my country is
gradually
decreasing.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that being wealthy offer the chance to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
via engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
and opening the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
be erected
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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