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Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sport activities they choose, Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays many debates happen on harmful sports, where some people think we should abandon such types of games which are harmful, while some individuals think that people have their own choices whatever sports they choose. Let us examine both views before reaching a concrete decision. On the one hand, some people believe that the government wants to take steps against harmful games and harmful activities which happen during many sports, because it affects our culture and also because of this these types of sports violence are increasing day by day and it will surely make an impact on our future generation. Furthermore these types of sports also make a bad impact on our children because nowadays most of the teenagers are taking interest in such types of sports like wrestling, boxing and many more which are totally insensitive for their health and body. On the other hand some people say that there is no need to ban dangerous sports. Because people have rights to choose what sports they want to play and it is not fair to ban such types of sports because some people do not like and if sportsperson do not have any issue to take part in such types of sports what issue others have. In my opinion, the government should ban such types of sports which are dangerous and make violence, because it affects our generation. In summary, I suggest that the government wants to take strict action on such types of sports or they want to ban it if we want to make earth a better place to live.
Nowadays
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many
debates happen on
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harmful
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sports
, where
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some
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people
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think
we should abandon such
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types
of games which are
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harmful
, while
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some
individuals
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think
that
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people
have their
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own
choices whatever
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sports
they choose.
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Let
us examine both views
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before
reaching a concrete decision.

On the one hand,
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some
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people
believe that the
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government
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wants
to take steps against
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harmful
games and
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harmful
activities which happen during
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many
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sports
,
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because
it affects our culture and
also
because of this
these
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types
of
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sports
violence are increasing day by
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
it will
surely
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make
an impact on our future generation.
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Furthermore
these
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types
of
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sports
also
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make
a
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bad
impact on our children
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because
nowadays most of the
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teenagers
are taking interest in such
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types
of
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sports
like wrestling, boxing and
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many
more which are
totally
insensitive for their health and body.

On the other hand
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some
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people
say that there is no need to
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ban
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dangerous
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sports
.
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Because
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people
have rights to choose what
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sports
they
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want
to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
play and
it is not
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fair
to
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ban
such
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types
of
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sports
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because
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some
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people
do not like and if sportsperson do not have any issue to
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take part
in such
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types
of
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sports
what issue others have.

In my opinion, the
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government
should
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ban
such
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types
of
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sports
which are
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dangerous
and
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make
violence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects our generation.

In summary, I suggest that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to take strict action on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sports or
they
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want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
it if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
earth a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sport activities they choose, Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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